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Hello and thank you for visiting my blog. Well it is not so much a blog more a place to share all the things i have written, drawn and generaly played with over the last 10 years. Most of them are related to my love of smooth slick Latex and shiny PVC, as well as the delights of feminization. I also have a huge crush on British TV presenter Carol Vorderman (The perfect model of the older woman) as well as the gorgeous Keira Knightley. (more my age). There will be nothing harsh or nasty here, just fun things, naughty things, sexy things and yes, well, Kinky things. Basically it's a stroll through the kinky lanes of my mind. hope you have fun. XXX

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Showing posts with label video. Show all posts
Showing posts with label video. Show all posts

Wednesday, 12 August 2026

Wednesday full house

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our blog alive.
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Hi Everyone
   Quick one before we start. This is the last round up for 2 weeks, I'll be back here on Wednesday from September. 
It's purely a time thing.
I will still be here Monday and Friday.
However, by the time I get back things will have really built up.


  In the meantime.
The shiny lens has caught Susanna Reid in its gaze before, thay flirty smile, those strokes of her hair, that knowing look in her eyes, told me she was hiding something. 
Well finally the lens locked on and.
So what I hear you say, we have seen this before and some of us would love Kate to join her. (For our overseas readers, that's Kate Garraway on the left). But what if there was more.....what if we have............. the video?!?!?
   Scroll to the bottom if you dare..............



Wait.... save that as a treat,  before you scroll off, we have lot's more to get through.

2 examples of the delights of travelling alone. However is she having second thoughts, was this all a step too far

Now the moment has arrived, the eye contact, the smiles, the innocent flirting, surely she had expected this...hadn't she?




Our friend Amber brings us these images of Andy and Jane as the Latex awards, where Andy was presenting the award to B&K Maids for service provider of the year.





Funnily enough Rhys and Sofia were there on the same night.
For those who have no idea who these two are you need to pop over to the Patreon




Now then

  I had been waiting until this show was broadcast over here before I posted anything about Maura Higgins on Traitors US.
  Fortunately for us Skinnie S has presented us with this amazing clip of her in the most stunning of Latex outfits.
 Wanna make an impression...here's how




Here are 3 very cute images from our friend Sissy Dani


In preparation for Bergman & Knightley's new ad campaign, Andy goes blonde! (Only his hairdresser--and Aunt Jane--know for sure!)



Saw a video of a woman walking in heels on a treadmill and had this inspiration for Andy's daily exercise:


"Office girl" scenarios  are some of my faves (I even came up with the term "sex-retary" to describe them), so here's Aunt Jame introducing Andy to his new job in her organisation










And now for the time being anyway (we hope) the final part of Skinnie Stallions amazing Office Politics story.



12. Professional as ever


Did he but know it, Owen was quickly becoming a lynchpin in Claudia Bramley’s special projects group.  Without effective financing, the group would not be able to function.  The fact that Owen was oblivious to what he was doing was an obvious plus point.  The absence of an enquiring mind continued to surprise and delight Claudia.   Owen also had a profound work ethic, no doubt engrained in him by his mother.   If he ever seemed tired and needing motivation, Claudia simply needed to dangle the prospect of a few hours with Geoffrey as a reward for successful completion of an assignment.


‘Follow the money’ is a standard investigative procedure coined by Watergate’s Deepthroat.   Tracking money flows can reveal a network of nefarious activity.   Fortunately no-one in Interpol or the intelligence services has seen the need to explore the workings of The B&K Temping Agency or to recognise the better axiom of ‘Follow the sissy’.   But then intelligence would be the last thing anyone would expect in B&K Temping’s special agent and very own ‘Deeptongue’.   In Owen they might find a buttplug most always, a mouthful of clit quite often, a strapon on occasion, a cock if he is lucky, but never intelligence.


Claudia Bramley is careful to select finance companies with female principals who are likely to be susceptible to Owen’s charms.   This month she has sent Owen to build relationships with AXON Global.   AXON has finance affiliates in Caribbean tax havens as well as close links with local legal practices.  The Caribbean will provide Bergman and Knightley with a significant stepping stone into potentially lucrative South America markets as well as presenting a new route into the lower states of the US.


It doesn’t take Owen long to work his magic.   He’s going up in the world and  quickly gains access to all areas.   The beauty of using Owen is that nothing can be intercepted.  There’s no need for emails, letters or phone calls when you have Owen as a go-between.  Nothing need be written down or recorded.   Claudia knows that no-one will suspect a pretty, but (sorry Owen) thick as pig shit Office Sissy.  Looks can deceive.  Despite little between the ears, they won't know he has the virtue of being able to remember short, coded messages especially if they rhyme.   


AXON is quite comfortable providing letters of credit and escrow accounts for Brunnings and Keenan, or whatever registered shell company Claudia has set up for this venture.   All Owen has to do is transfer the details.   It can take a while for Owen to remember the message.   It has to be rammed into him.   It can take a while before Owen gets the rhythm and is able to chant it back.  Owen loves these teach-in sessions.   Maybe he’s a slow learner for a reason.   Perhaps he’s cleverer than we give him credit for.


Today he’s with Isabel Noren, AXON’s lawyer.   She needs to finalise some details with Claudia Bramley.   After the Panama Papers and given the sensitive nature of Bergman and Knightley’s shadow operations , it’s far too important to entrust to normal mail services.   Owen is naturally the preferred route.   Owen’s been finding that Ms Noren wants a lot of his time even when there aren't any messages to convey.   Ms Bramley tells him not to worry since it helps establish his cover story.  Cover story?   Owen doesn’t understand.   He simply thinks that Ms Noren likes fucking him.   He certainly likes her fucking him.


Today is just another cover session.   “Thank you Owen.  That was most professional, as ever,” says Ms Noren after Owen’s finished giving her another licking out.



“You are welcome Ms Noren.  Please may I be excused to the bathroom.”   Owen feels desperate.   Not only does he need a pee after spending an hour beneath her desk but he’s also got a massive hard-on.  Ms Noren had work to do and hasn’t fucked him which has left him on edge.   He leans forward trying to hide the errant bulge in his skirt.  He wishes he’d tucked.   He should have remembered that she only fucks him after hours or at weekends when the office is quiet.    


“Of course, just let me know if you need a hand.”

"That would be very helpful Ms Noren.  Because of the new law, I still get some looks when I use the ladies bathroom so it helps if someone from management takes me there."


"I understand, Owen.  I don't think some of our more junior staff really appreciate the role of Office Sissy.   They will of course, in time.  Sorry, if they're unprofessional.   At the moment, they only pay lip service to AXON being an equal opportunities employer."


"Thank you so much, Ms Noren," said a surprised Owen, misunderstanding, as ever, what the executive  was saying, "some lip service would be lovely.   It's been so long.........." 


"Don't get ahead of yourself, sissy boy.  A helping hand was all I was offering."


"That would still be very nice, thank you."   Provided Ms Noren had time and  even if he didn’t get sucked, Owen was looking forward to her giving him nice slow wank in one of the Ladies’ cubicles.  He could always grind on his Hummingbird and dream of Geoffrey.  Perhaps he can practise that rhyme with each jerky stroke she gives him.



13. Office Politics: In-flight Entertainment


If Owen had thought, he would have realised that Ms Bramley’s offer of a trip to Miami would come with strings attached.   He was looking forward to a few days of sun and sand or just relaxing by the pool to recuperate after his boob job. He was proud of his two new puppies and wanted to pamper them.   He’d heard about some the clubs in Miami and thought they would provide a perfect playground to show them off.


Fortunately, Ms Bramley knows that one of the great virtues of her pretty Office Sissy, the crowning jewel of The B&K Temping Agency, is that he doesn’t think very deeply.   It’s his special talent.   And with his new breasts, he’s got even more to offer.   They’re her reward to him for performing so well since becoming a full-time B&K Boy in her special group.


B&K’s Caribbean operation has been growing rapidly in the last few months, helped significantly by Owen.   Financing the expansion has presented few difficulties thanks to his strenuous efforts with AXON.   The remarkable growth in the Caribbean has prompted Bergman’s senior management to pivot away from Latin America towards more a lucrative markets.   Cruise liners have proved fertile ground for both for hire and sales of B&K Boys.  Lots of widowed ladies appreciate having a companion for their cruise, especially one they can take home with them afterwards.   And it’s not just single ladies.  Older couples find a B&K Boy can bring back that extra bit of sparkle, while honeymoon couples find that a B&K Boy can cater for all tastes in a marriage and not just in the kitchen.    


Business is so good that it’s required an expansion of recruitment and B&K training facilities in the UK.  Tempting as it might be for B&K to open up supply by introducing cheaper Latin American sissies, US customers prefer a British Sissy with impeccable manners and a loveable accent.   It also means B&K can avoid imitations and maintain prices.  Counterfeit B&K Boys have already become a serious problem on the internet.   Cheap Chinese sissies may be available but they tend to be unwilling Incels exported by the Chinese government to relieve their growing domestic pressures.  Customers prefer the authentic and readily distinguishable article from B&K UK: a British B&K Boy is always eager to please.


And there is no B&K Boy more authentic than Owen, boobs notwithstanding.   Claudia allowed him a few weeks at the B&K Health Spa to recuperate after his surgery and for  deportment training in how to walk properly with his new front loading.  He’s also been given some extra padding in his bum so he can now really wiggle.   A strict diet and exercise helped Owen’s new figure to develop its own natural curves while scarring and soreness diminished.  Waiting a few weeks also means that he’s safe to fly.   She wouldn’t want anything untoward happening to her prize asset.


Owen finds he’s not flying as a passenger to Miami but as a temporary member of cabin crew.   B&K Air may not yet rival SlickAir as a prestige carrier, but it knows how to turn on the style for valued customers or business partners.   Over the last few days, B&K’s managment in London has been entertaining Kassidy Dallas, an entrepreneur skilled in supplying talent to fashionable Florida resorts like Sarsaparilla and Mor-o-labia.  A private flight back is the least B&K can provide, especially when Claudia has placed Owen aboard and ready to give his fun bags an excursion.

“Ms Dallas, this is Owen, your personal hostess.   We hope you enjoy your flight,’ says the Pilot.


“Ah, so this is the famous British Sissy I have heard so much about.  Quite a girl, ain’t she?”


“Yes, Ms Dallas.   He’s here for your exclusive use.  Anything you need, he’ll be on hand to serve you.   Won't you Owen?’


“Oooh, can I sit on your hand, please?” asks silly Owen to Kassidy’s surprise. 


“Wait until we’re airborne, Owen,” interjects the Second Officer.  “I’m sorry Ms Dallas, he is new to carbon crew duties but very keen, as you can see.   She turns to Owen: “Remember Owen, these are separate seat aisles.   You’ll have to sit on the arm of Ms Dallas’ chair or bend over in the aisle if you want that, but your priority is catering for Ms Dallas’ needs not your own.   When we’re airborne, you may want to show Ms Dallas how her seat reclines and can be made up into a bed.”


“Yes, Second Officer,” says a slightly crestfallen Owen.   He’s not used to taking instructions like that.


“Don’t worry, Owen,” says Kassidy in a reassuring slow southern drawl, “Ah’m sure you an’ I are gonna get along jus’ fine.  Jus’ fine.   Now what’s a southern gal gotta do to git a drink round here before you an’ me takes off.”


Oh how we hope for more from Owen and the ladies.



But wait, did I not promise something to send me off on my summer break in style.

Good morning Britain, this is the news



It's a shame we could not get the sound up on it but the shiny Lens only works on image,but our lip readers here believe Kate was trying to convince Susanna to stand up and show the viewers the rest of the outfit.
  You can tell by Susanna's hesitation that she was not too sure about that. It's that tell-tale pause and the way she is looking at the monitor just off screen that give away her mixture of uncertainty and excitement.
  Kates reaction when she does stand up says it all, she is just so amazed at her friend and colleagues bravery ,but little does she know, that final little look off screen from Susanna hints that she has a surprise in mind for Kate 

XXXX

See you soon




Wednesday, 5 August 2026

It's Wednesday

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our blog alive.
From only $4 a month



On Patreon Today
It's nice to sit down
and have a catch up
with your Mum, she
will have so many
tales to tell about what
she has been watching on
Tv or what the neighbours
have been doing or how
the cats are fine.....
However some Mothers
have found new delights.



   Hi Everyone

Here is a quick skip through some fun bits and bobs.

    Half way down you welcome across a little thing that I am contemplating creating. Just look out for Wilma.

Hope you like them.

XX

Andy


   Where better to start than on that strange plant, where Erarth girls are taken to compete in the ultimate games of survival

THE WORMHOLE GAMES!





I came across this clip on youtube the other day and was captivated by it. If is from the gorgeous DutchDame and some of these outfits are to melt for.

So elegant and stylish and the white outfit is breathtaking




I am adoring our friend Ambers images, they capture the real world of Andy and Aunt Jane in a new way,that is imbedded in reality

.I mean who would not want to spend a spa weekend with these two,




Learning to dive is a tricky one, but Jane will help











Here are a couple of images re-worked using modern technology.

These are part of what I am hoping will be a bigger project which will see Andy and Jane appearing in a book,the art re-imagined using modern technology, but very much still our Andy and Aunt Jane.



Stay tuned here and on Patreon for more updates



So now here  are a couple of new pieces from our friend Sissy Dani. Looking cute


Jane: Put your hood up, darling, have to stay dry!
Andy: Yes, Aunt Jane! My this wet pavement is very slick!




Jane: You may find latex is a bit uncomfortable for sleeping, Andy,
but you will also find it quite...stimulating....

Love, Dani





Now I am so delighted and grateful to Skinnie Stallion for writing the continuing tale of Owen and Office Politics.


https://smoothslicknshiny.blogspot.com/2026/07/mid-week-treats.html

9. Office Politics: We’ll Wait


Although his debrief with Ms Bramley made him realise that at heart he was a B&K Boy, Owen was sad to leave Lumina.  Lumina had given him a start on both the employment and sissy ladders.  Middle and senior management had treated him well.  It was just a shame that final week didn't give him enough time to say goodbye to them all or to have that night out with Val.   On the plus side, he wasn’t going to miss the catty rivalry of some of the girls in the Secretarial Pool.   


Owen’s hopes of having some time off after finishing at Lumina were dashed when Ms Bramley immediately assigned him to what she described as her ‘special projects group’.  It appeared to Owen that he was in a group of one.  It also seemed that her ‘group’ didn’t sit in mainstream B&K and was financed from outside normal accounts and cost centres.  “To allow plausible deniability” as Ms Bramley put it.  Owen had no clue what she meant.  He just concentrated on his first assignment: Ms Bramley needed him to pay off the debt to Wilson & Associates, Bergman and Knightley’s lawyers, for arranging his contract release from Lumina.  Fortunately, Wilsons were happy to take payment in kind.   One week of Owen’s services would be sufficient.


Ms Bramley briefed Wilsons that their new temp’s secretarial skills were non-existent.  His desk skills were useless but his below-the-desk skills were formidable.   When Wilsons put him on reception, Owen concentrated on getting his face right: first impressions were so important.   Visitors gathered at the front desk while he did his lipstick.   “Don’t worry Sissy Boy, we’ll wait,” said one as he puckered up.  “No rush.” 



“Yeah, no rush” said her colleague.  “Fuck me, he’s hot.”


That week, Wilson & Associates never had so many never clients come to them after word of mouth referrals.   It was the mouth that did it.   And the tongue.



10. Office Politics: That will be all


A unique selling point of Bergman and Knightley is its ability to operate in territories at which other fashion houses and other service providers baulk.  B&K successfully caters for very refined tastes around the world and has contacts within governments as well as in depth knowledge of legal and customs systems in most countries.  B&K is willing to work where others daren’t venture.    


Vanessa Bramley is trusted by Bergman and Knightley’s top brass to run these undertakings:  she has the experience and skills.   The beauty of Vanessa’s branch for Bergman and Knightley management is that they do not need to know and do not want to know any detail about how her group operates.   Her group’s activities are hidden in grey accounting and through a network of shell companies.  


Vanessa has developed her own ways of financing her B&K’s black ops unit.  That’s where Owen comes in.   Vanessa has put in place a sophisticated system of ‘payment in kind’.   Rather than need to pay interest on the capital backing her group, a few days of Owen normally does the trick.  This week, risk insurance is required on shipments of B&K Boys to Pakistan, Dubai and China so Owen is putting in some extra hours at Global Capital.


"Is there anything else I can do for you Ms Richmond?" asks Owen after helping the Global’s CFO unwind.   He’s wearing black latex because he still doesn’t understand  ‘black ops’.


"Jesus Christ no,"  exclaims Felicity Richmond, her pulse still racing after Owen's assistance, her pants still around her ankles   There was no way that she could take another under-the-desk session with Owen.   Despite it being a Saturday and the Executive Level deserted, she’s concerned that her moans and cries may have attracted the attention of colleagues also putting in some extra hours.  She needs to get properly dressed in case someone looks in.    Owen has proved as Ingrid had suggested: totally fucking useless and totally fucking wonderful.  Felicity tries to compose herself.   "Er.... No thank you, Owen.  That will be all for now."


"Thank you, Ms Richmond.  If you're quite sure you don't need any more help, I'll check on Mrs Pearson.   She's had to work this weekend too and is going to stay late.  She said something about needing to do some desk work."


"Oh, if I know Ingrid she's come here to escape her husband and his mates."   Felicity knew exactly what Ingrid wanted to escape for.   It was her who'd suggested that they ask Central Admin for Owen to have some over-time.   "They'll be sat around drinking beer and watching footie.   Even though she's got the higher paid job, they'll expect her to run around fetching drinks and nibbles."   


"Mrs Pearson  did say something about nibbles," replies Owen, seemingly oblivious to the executive's intentions.


11. Office Politics: Working late


Ingrid Pearson may have a demanding job as CEO of Global Capital but she likes to maintain a work-life  balance.   She recognises the importance of family life but she also understands the importance of preserving a little ‘me time’.   It helps her de-stress and is good for her mental health and well-being.


Going in on a Saturday avoids the frequent interruptions of the normal week and allows her to go about things in a more relaxed way.   There’s no need to rush.   No hurry.  What doesn't help are annoying phone calls from her lazy husband interrupting her while she’s trying to clear her desk and make room for a special project with Owen.  “Honey, will you be working late tonight?   Only the guys are coming over to watch the game.   Honey?”


 


Ingrid stifles a moan as she hastily presses to unmute, "Yes, I'm still really busy. I've got a few things on here." One of things that isn't on is her panties. Owen had deftly eased them down to gain access to her temple where he is now busily worshipping with his tongue and lips.  Such a good boy: fucking useless as a PA but totally adorable as an office sissy and ornament of the C-Suite. If only they could do more risk insurance for Brunnings and Keenan: anything to oil the wheels of commerce and make transactions frictionless.  Helping Brunnings and Keenan is lucrative in all the best ways for the senior execs.  "I may see light at the end of the tunnel in the next few days," she says.  She was going to make sure Owen didn't see daylight or even fluorescent office light for the next few minutes. Would he be able to beat his record of being on his knees for thirty-five minutes?  "It's such a grind, Bill," she said sliding back in her chair and pushing her pussy harder against Owen's eager face. 


Perhaps she and Felicity should invite Owen out for a drink when they've finished their 'work'?   They could compare notes.  There’s always the possibility that they may need to stay in town and get a hotel room because of the lateness of the hour. They'd only need a double bedded room since Owen can sleep between them.   Not that he’ll be getting much sleep.


Wednesday, 22 July 2026

So Many Wednesday Treats

 Please help keep 
our blog alive.
From only $4 a month






Hi Everyone
   I could not let the brief chance to sit down on a Tuesday night and prepare  a  few Wednesday treats for you all to enjoy.....hopefully

XXX


 
Hopefully we have all seen the Real Sissies of Beverly Hills over on the Patreon.

Well here in the UK we have just seen the launch of the new season of Love Island ,presenter by the lovely Maya Jama and what an outfit in which to launch it.



I know it has been a staple of Atsuko Kudo's collection for a while,I mean the amazing AJ Odudu wore this perfect colour on Big Brother in 2024.

 but it seems aver since Kylie wore it at Christmas last year,that oversized biker jacket has had a lot of fans.

Amanda Holden

Even our beloved Rhys Jenner has been seen in it.


Okey
Travelling alone has become very popular,whether for business or for personal solo adventure, the fredon it gives is amazing,but beware that one polite drink with those sweet young ladies.
  Oh they seemed very nice, the daughters of an English Lord travelling across Europe to work as Chalet Girls in the Italian Alps.What would one drink possibly matter.........




Next
Our dear friend Amber has created her own world of Ideas for Andy and Aunt Jane travelling the world and getting into adventures.
Well here are a few more of her amazing ideas, for your delight.

It's Andy in riding gear, what's not to love.

The next two are all about improving Andy's posture. From boy to Girl takes time an dedication.



Now
Our dear Friend Sissy Dani,has also taken to her keyboard and dipped her toe into the world of Andy and Aunt Jane.
Perhaps you can add your own ideas as to the story,


These, like Amber's are so cute and what's more Dani has her own blog right here, so pop on over and have some fun.


Here come the classics
   Rather like Col Virginia Lake from UFO,not being around back in the 60s and 70s and  not remembering anything from the 80s (sorry) it lets one look  back and discover amazing things and one of them is the amazing Julie Newmar as the feline villain from the 1960s Batman Tv show.  
   I would imagine if Catwoman was recreated these days for Tv she would be a far less slinky and sexy creature. Only Michelle Phieffer can compare to Ms Newmar.




And now, how to follow Ms Newmar. Simple, with the puuurrfect work of Skinnie Stallion and Parts 3 -5 of his wonderfully naughty story
      Office Politics


3. Office Politics – Going up


“This would normally be seen as an Induction and Orientation session,” said Ms Halliday as she ushered Owen into a small, glass-sided meeting room, “except you’re already familiar with the building and have had your re-Orientation.”    While she went to order some coffees, he was dismayed by the number of staff walking past who’d pause to gawp at him.   He was obviously something of an attraction.  Either that or an oddity since he recognised some from his stint as a mail boy: previously they’d never given him a first glance let alone a second.


Ms Halliday returned with their coffees.  There was a faint jingle as she sat down opposite him.   His induction didn’t take long.   Ms Halliday instructed him about the duties of an Office Sissy.  He felt badly unprepared for some aspects of the work.  She talked about standards of dress and said that other items of work wear would be delivered to his home.   He would have discretion about how to mix-and-match and accessorize them.  Then she took him down to the open-plan office of the Secretarial Pool and introduced him to Pam, his new Supervisor.   Pam showed him to an empty desk with just a telephone, an empty In-Tray and Out-Tray, and an old-fashioned manual typewriter.   He couldn’t help noticing that the other girls had keyboards and large screens at their desks.  


She left him sitting at his desk with nothing to do.  It was embarrassing.  Other members of the Pool were busy or clustered around giggling.  The girls were passing something between them.  There were all clearly in on some private joke.   When Pam entered, they went back to their desks and someone pinned a piece of paper to a noticeboard.  Pam passed out work and instructions but not to him.   Rather than sit idly, he went over to the noticeboard to see the source of their merriment.


Owen was horrified.   It was a photograph.   A photograph of him in the B&K dorm with Joshua. He’d been caught on a security camera.   B&K must have shared the photograph with Lumina.  He ran to the Men’s Room before making a hasty exit and going next door to the Ladies’ Room.   He hid in a cubicle.  He had no idea that he been photographed.  He panicked about where else he might have been photographed.   Had the security cameras caught him with Ms Bramley.  Had Ms Bramley photographed him with Geoffrey?  She’d often stayed to watch.   Embarrassment turned to panic: explaining his feminisation to his mother yesterday had been one thing, but explaining his new-found preferences would be quite another.  


It took a while for Pam to coax him out.  She insisted that he fix his make-up and remove the teary streaks of mascara running down his cheeks.   Rather than return him to the Pool, she took him for an early lunch in the canteen.   Once again, he found eyes fastened on him.   Pam assured him that the photograph had only been posted so that the girls could be sure of his orientation: they weren’t used to having a male member of the Pool.   Most of  the secretaries had boyfriends and those who didn't needed to know not to waste time on him.  She promised him an assignment that afternoon.   It would be with her.   She wanted to break him in gently.


Over the next few weeks, Owen slowly worked his way up.   After being introduced to each of the girls in the Pool, and when Pam was comfortable with his conduct and performance, he worked his way through Middle Management, then Senior Management.  Duties were not too onerous although he needed to rub cream on his knees most evenings.  He was getting seriously worried that he might chip his teeth but that could wait for his debrief with Ms Bramley.


A major problem persisted that he still didn’t understand his role in the Secretarial Pool.   He was only ever given menial tasks to do.   Some days it was filing, although the manager often preferred he spend time filing his nails or theirs since actual filing kept proving problematic.  


He was already on his second performance improvement interview with Pam and HR.  HR was baffled why managers kept asking him to do their filing.   During his recruitment interview, he'd shown himself to be fairly inept.  He might know the alphabet,  but his attempts at filing usually left two drawers bulging: F and R.    Reports, irrespective of the client name, all ended up in the drawer labelled 'R’ for 'Report', while everything else was filed under 'F' for 'Filing'.    


It left Owen a bit flummoxed when managers would search in a client's folder and exclaim: "There's no effing report!"   


He'd say to himself, "Of course, not.   I may be a sissy, but I know how Report is spelt: R-E-P-O-R-T.   There's no F in it.   How could senior people not know that?"   At least he knew where something else needed fitted and filing.   Like desk and cabinet drawers, Owen liked a smooth, gliding action.   There were rarely complaints, and he left with a smile on his face.


Some days managers asked for dictation but they seemed happy to dictate and let Copilot transcribe their thoughts into documents and letters.  All he was left to do was to edit out all the Oooh!s  and Aaah!s and Just there!s from the computer’s text after spending the dictation session beneath the manager’s desk. 


He was getting better known around the building.   Even those with whom he’d not become better ‘acquainted’:  he could hear them talking behind his back.   Today was no exception.  He could hear senior executives whispering to each other when he was leaving the lift. “Is that the new boy in the Secretarial Pool?”   Was that jingling he heard as well?    It couldn’t be their jewellery.  Them too, it seemed.  He’d find out when he was eventually allowed on the top floor.


“One of my directors says he’s bloody useless at secretarial work.”


“But I’ve heard he’s very good at other things.”


“Don’t whisper, I mean he’s a fucking sissy.   He knows what we’re gonna do with him.”


“I’m told he may with us in a couple of weeks.  He’s working his way up.”

“He can work his way up me any time,” another giggled.


“Remember we can go up him: Executive perks.”

“Sounds like his perks too.”   More giggles.

Every day when he got home his mother asked him the same question: “How was work today, Owen?”  

“OK, mum,” was his usual brief reply.  How could he tell her how and where he spent most of his time at work?   How could he tell her about the intelligence he was gathering for B&K?  

4. Office Politics – Annual Sissy


Eventually Pam considered Owen was ready to rise to the heights of the C-Suite corridor.  The senior executives had all heard a lot about him and were keen to get better acquainted with the new Office Sissy.     Today he was being introduced to new VP who’d recently joined from a Swedish competitor.  


“But, I thought he was a girl,” said the new executive.  Owen kept his eyes down, avoiding eye contact like he’d been instructed.  He could glimpse that she was wearing a grey trouser suit and sensible heels.   How boring?!   And trousers could be such a nuisance.


 ‘A girl’!  She thought he was a girl.  That was a confidence boost.  At least he was meeting one of the criteria that Ms Bramley had described in a top-flight B&K Boy.   She expected a B&K Boy to have a certain “Je ne sais quoi”, although in her dog-French she often misquoted it as “Je ne sais cock.”  God he needed some.   It had been two months since he’d had any.   Two months since Geoffrey.   His Hummingbird was proving a poor substitute for the real thing.


Pam performed the introductions: “This is our Sissy Boy, Owen.   We used to hire a sissy each year for our own pleasure and entertainment from a company called Bergman & Knightley, but thought we should invest in one we can mould.  So Owen here had just started in postal, very cute, very sweet, very polite and absolutely useless at everything, so we swapped up his contract a few months ago, made it so tight and then sent him off to Bergmans and two months ago this hot little bitch came back. He is still totally useless at anything really, but looks hot as hell, smells wonderful and has the most amazing tongue.”


“Really?” replied the new VP.   “I feel we should get better acquainted.   I’m sure you can’t be that useless.”


“Perhaps you can help Mrs Ericsson settle in, Owen?”  suggested Pam.


“Certainly,” said Owen.   “Just let me know when you’d like me to come.”


“Oh, I will.   Very soon,” the VP replied.  “I just need to get my feet under the table.”  Owen looked up. There was something in what Mrs Ericsson said that aroused his curiosity and more.   He looked her in the eye despite Pam’s instructions.  


Mrs Ericsson gave him a knowing look.  “Come back after lunch, at say two o’clock, and you can help me unbox my bits.   I have one or two items that might interest a secretary like you.”


On his way back down to the Secretarial Pool, Owen found it difficult to contain both his annoyance and his excitement.   He couldn’t believe the words Pam had used about him.   Is that what she and others really thought:  ‘absolutely useless’,  ‘totally useless’.   Useless! Ms Halliday had said was useless at the interview and ‘fucking useless’ as a Mail Boy.  But that was as a Mail Boy.  He’d even overheard one of the Executives in the lift the other day  describing him as ‘bloody useless’. If he was so useless, why was he proving so popular and in demand?  He’d show them.   


But then again Pam had also said he was a ‘hot little bitch’ and had an ‘amazing tongue’.  He felt some reassurance in being described as a ‘hot little bitch’.  Hot!  That was nice.  Every time he looked in a mirror he thought he looked hot.   ‘Little bitch’ was nice too in its own way, although he’d have preferred ‘tight bitch’ or ‘tight little bitch’.   Still she wasn’t to know that given how neglected he felt in that area.  ‘Amazing tongue’ was good too:  all his training with Ms Bramley was paying off.   If only she’d given him some lessons in other secretarial skills.   He was starting to wonder what Mrs Ericsson might have in her box.


5. Office Politics – Working Late


The next few weeks were rather a blur for Owen, partly because his glasses were perpetually steamed up during working hours, but mainly because top executives like Mrs Ericsson proved very demanding.   It was clear why they’d reached that level: their requirements were never ending and exhaustive.  For the first time since starting as the Office Sissy, Owen found his exhaust fully tested.   

Pam was pleased with him.  His hours increased significantly.  Mrs Ericsson proved to be a regular customer although she had to compete for his services.  She’d settled in quite nicely at Lumina, although chiefly into Owen.   “Just to let you know, you will be working late tonight,” she’d said to him that morning in the lift.   “You’ll have to slot me into your busy schedule.”  Owen was very happy to fill that slot.  Part of him still yearned to fill it the way  he once might have wanted but he knew that was never going to happen.   Anyway he was finding the other way to be much nicer.   He was the Office Sissy and, if the Execs were he happy to oblige, he wasn’t going to say no.   Still, some forewarning of Mrs Ericsson’s demands was helpful.   He would be able to call his mother to say he wouldn’t be home in time for tea.  Mrs Peters was delighted with the extra pay her son was starting to bring home from all the overtime, although she worried about how tired he seemed.  Nowadays he wasn’t getting home till quite late and was often called in at weekends.   Obviously he was working hard but he seemed to go into work each morning with a spring in his step.  He must be enjoying his job.   She was so happy that he seemed to have settled in at Lumina.


Owen’s increased hours and exertions meant that something else had to give.  He found that he had very limited time to go shopping.  He resorted to using B&K On-line to order an ‘upgraded’ Hummingbird.   He needed something better than his current one. Well not better, just bigger. He couldn’t afford the embarrassment of it slipping out again like it had one evening on the bus home after a particularly energetic overtime session with Ms Ericsson.   Even with Geoffrey and Ms Bramley he’d never had that problem with his Hummingbird M.  Rather than a Hummingbird L, he decided to step up to the XL to be on the safe side.   There would still be the option of augmenting with an XXL if the XL proved insufficient.  He was frightened by the sight of the XXXL in the catalogue.   Surely no boy could wear that?   Then he remembered the CEO threatening him with her fist if he didn’t calm down and comply with her wishes.  Perhaps there were, though hopefully not him.


Owen settled into a regime: M when he was going to work in the morning, his new XL before an afternoon excursion to the C-Suite and definitely for his evening journey home.   That way everything stayed comfy and snug.   It also meant any excess lube wouldn't leak down his legs when he was walking along the corridors or for the bus.


As 5pm approached, he put in his XL in readiness for seeing Mrs Ericsson.   Riding the lift, he luxuriated in the feeling of it in his bum.   He knew he’d be spending the first hour or so on his knees while Mrs Ericsson attended to her paperwork, but he could be sure of his reward.   While Mrs Ericsson’s toys might not have the organic niceness of Geoffrey, it would definitely be even better than his XL.


He was also happy.   Today one of his fellow secretaries had called him ‘a cunt’, in fact ‘a fucking cunt’.   Apparently her boyfriend had seen him in the lobby yesterday when he was picking her up after work.  He couldn't stop asking her questions, demanding to know the name of the new girl, who she was and where she worked.  Owen played the innocent.   But in her eyes, he was a cunt: a fucking cunt for seducing her boyfriend.  Seduction?   He hadn’t done anything.   Maybe he’d batted his eyelids or adjusted his heels.   He tried to think back to yesterday and who he’d seen in the atrium.   Was it the black lad?  Or the swarthy, unshaven guy with dark tousled hair?


Owen felt so proud.  The girls thought was a cunt.  He certainly had a cunt, although he preferred to think of it as pussy, his boipussy.   Maybe being the Office Sissy wasn’t so bad after all?  Not if girls thought he was a cunt and boys fancied him.    Could it have been the black lad?   His XL had never felt better as the lift arrived at the top floor.