Loving Janes outfit in that one Kitty. so good.
Ok so where to turn now, well, we have a few images from the new Fashion line setup to capitalise on the success of Andy and Aunt Janes fashion style.
And now, without a need for introduction.A super new story from our fined Skinnie Stallion, based on Art from Patreon, with one little cheeky addition from me.
Madam Secretary: The Rise of the Phantom
By
Skinnie Stallion
The windows to her suite at the Embassy might be double-glazed but they couldn’t keep out the call of the muezzin booming through speakers across the city. Dawn was beginning to break and Tammy knew that she wasn’t going to get back to sleep. It had been another restless night spent tossing and turning. Two days frustrating days and so little to show for it.
She opened the door to the balcony to let in some fresh air to replace the stale recirculating chill. A blast of heat hit her. It was already starring to heat up, not that it had ever got cold. She’d had the air conditioning on throughout the night in a vain attempt to help her sleep. She ought to have got used to heat by now after living in DC for so many years but as a Maine girl, she had never quite managed it. At least it was a dry heat rather than the oppressive humidity of Washington.
Tammy looked out over the Embassy compound and gazed beyond the perimeter wall. She liked this time of day. There was a freshness in the morning air and she relished the calm before the city kicked into life. Prayers over, traffic resumed. There was little activity on the streets but within an hour they would be packed with bikes, cars, trucks and buses all throwing out fumes. Soon a combination of heat haze and smog would shimmer over the buildings and the city would come alive with noise and the scents of the markets and bazaar, and the pungent less welcome odours of camels and goats.
The brief moment of tranquillity allowed her to collect her thoughts. Just one day left. She’d be going out on a military flight that the evening. On the plus side the trade deal had been signed. A minor deal with a minor principality but a deal was a deal. She could report that back in DC as a win.
Relationship building mattered in the unstable world of shuttle diplomacy. It had been strange seeing the King again. She wasn’t sure if he’d recognise or even remember her given it was over forty years since they’d met. She’d been at Barnard, he’d been round the corner at Columbia: her a politics major, him studying economics as part of the preparation of a possible aspirant to the crown. Different times. Different politics. A fleeting friendship but one that had left a lasting impression. She was getting married as soon as she graduated. Did he know? Did she want him to know?
She thought there had been a flash of recognition when they were introduced at the welcome meeting. But after the initial courtesies and exchange of gifts, she had been whisked away to the negotiations with the Trade Ministry. They’d only seen each other again at the signing ceremony. Given diplomatic protocol and under the stern eyes of his Queen, they’d exchanged only niceties even at last night’s banquet. Maybe he’d forgotten. He seemed more interested in discussing sports franchises and getting her view on whether his country should follow the example of some of its neighbours. It could certainly strengthen ties, help inward investment and stop all that money flowing into Europe and the Premier League.
On the personal side though there was nothing to show: there was still no sign of her grandson. The trade mission had provided helpful cover for her own investigations but news had been sparse despite delicate enquiries with the Ministry of the Interior. The last message she’d received from Daniel had been about back-packing through the country. She’d tried to dissuade him. The silly boy was impetuous and impulsive just like his mother. He was at least a reminder of poor Karen. He had her eyes and looks though he also displayed some of her worst traits. He was hardly an experienced traveller and he didn't even have a visa. She’d expected him to be stopped at the border but that had been more than four weeks ago. And then nothing. No WhatsApp messages, no texts, not even the old tech of a postcard. Silence. He’d disappeared. She worried about kidnapping and ransom demands. She worried about fundamentalists. She worried about his being a hostage. She worried that they might try to use her as leverage. She worried about people traffickers. She worried about human slavery.
A month was a long time with no news and no kidnap demands. Internet searches had drawn a blank. Radio silence. The Ministry of the Interior seemed just as puzzled. Daniel had been seen at the border and allowed through, but then he’d disappeared. This was impossible: Western tourists were rare these days and a fair skinned traveller would be expected to stand out. The only intel had been some unlikely story about him flying to Switzerland and a message she received yesterday from staff at the Embassy. She wasn’t hopeful: the lead had come from one of the cleaners. And not even one of the housemaids, one of the lowest ranked who swept the compound. She claimed to know something. Still, any lead was better than no lead.
She closed the window. She’d have breakfast in her room, dress and then meet with Gordon, the assigned attaché. Gordon seemed plumbed into the local networks and had been helpful in identifying points of leverage during the trade negotiations. He would be her guide.
The meeting with the cleaner meant nothing to Tammy. The cleaner spoke no English. Tammy relied on Gordon to translate but it seemed to be a garbled account. The cleaner seemed frightened and spent much of the time gesticulating in the direction of the palace. Gordon made a few phone calls.
It was only a short ride to the palace complex. Gordon explained that there were going to the women’s wing. Now that the Kingdom had modernised under the new ruler, the old harem that used to occupy the wing had been done away with. However, it remained as a women only annexe: a man entering the annexe was haram.
As they walked through the outer grounds of the palace, Gordon explained the cleaner’s story: “All she did was pass on a story that had been circulating in the bazaar, but she added an extra twist that we hadn't heard before. Local rumours spread of a young man, a western boy, found lost in the city. Taken in by a Princess.”
“Daniel?”
“Madam Secretary, we believe this is your grandson.”
“Taken in by a Princess? What does that mean ‘taken in’?” asked Tammy.
“We’re not sure Madam Secretary, that was she could give us. It’s hardly good intel but I’ve arranged for you to see one of the princesses. I’m told she can speak English. Apparently she’s betrothed to a prince in a neighbouring kingdom. Getting married soon. They still believe in arranged marriages here to maintain peace between the old tribes.” A short girl in shimmering gold robes stood in the atrium. She donned heavy framed Gucci sunglasses as she emerged into the dazzling sunshine.
“Poor thing,” said Tammy. “She looks such a sweet girl.”
“I have to leave you now. I can’t go into the building. It looks like the Princess will escort you. I’ll wait outside in the car.”
“Thank you Gordon. I’ll call you when I’m done and need collecting.”
“Good luck, Madam Secretary.”
The girl approached, placed her palms together and bowed slightly. “Greetings Madam Secretary,” she said in somewhat halting, heavily accented English. “I am Princess Sabé. Welcome to the Palace.”
“Good day, Princess Sabé,” bowing in return. “I am Secretary Tammy Tibbetts of the US State Department.” Tammy thought the girl looked familiar but it was hard to tell with the glasses. Perhaps she’d seen a picture of her in one of the copies of Vogue Arabia lying around the Embassy.
“Come through to my chambers, Secretary Tammy Tibbetts,” said the girl. Tammy couldn't tell whether the Princess was teasing her with the way she emphasised her title and name. Did she think Secretary was a clerical role? Tammy followed her across marble floors and along cooler darkened passageways until they entered an ornate chamber decorated with luxurious fabrics and furnishings. Tapestries lined the walls, and richly patterned carpets covered the floors. Exotically dressed and partially dressed girls reclined on couches and cushions strewn across the floor. Tammy felt the chamber still bore the signs of being part of the old harem.
“Please sit, Secretary Tammy Tibbetts,” said the Princess gesticulating at one of the couches while she went to sit in an elaborately decorated golden chair. Her jewellery and chains clinked as she perched on her throne. “You would like something to drink? Yes? “Sharbat?” Before Tammy could answer the Princess clapped her hands. An attendant came in with a silver tray and poured a glass of cloudy iced liquid for Tammy. She looked quizzically at the crystal goblet with mint leaves floating in it. “Sharbat,” said the Princess again before saying, “sherbet, lemon sherbet.” She raised her glass, “As-salamu alaykum. Saha,” before adding, “salut, cheers.”
Tammy nodded and raised her glass. “Salut.” She drank the cool liquid. It was a welcome and refreshing relief from the heat.
“How may I help you Secretary Tammy Tibbetts?” asked the Princess. “I do not think you are here to discuss trade.”
Tammy was surprised by the lack of the usual diplomatic preliminaries and formalities but admired both the Princess’s directness and her awareness of global affairs. “Please just call me Tammy, your Royal Highness,” said Tammy trying to break the ice.
“We like to maintain formality, Madam Secretary. I would feel uncomfortable addressing you in that way.”
“Very well, your Royal Highness. I am looking for my grandson. He came to your country about four weeks ago and has disappeared. My staff has information that he was seen in the city. There are stories that he may have met with a princess and gone with her.”
“Gone with her?” The Princess chuckled. “Madam Secretary, there are many princesses in my land. My grandfather and my father have been most prolific with their many wives.”
Tammy realised that her use of ‘gone with her’ may have been unwise but how could she say ‘taken in by her’. ‘Taken in’ could mean provided with accommodation, or possibly even deceived by her? “Sorry, but my attaché advised that it was best to speak to you.”
“I am eldest of my father’s daughters. I am most senior and can speak the English.”
“You speak very well, your Highness.”
“Thank you, Madam Secretary. I have lessons but wish I could study in your country. What you say are just rumours. There are always rumours in my country: rumours from the city, rumours from the market, and always rumours from the bazaar. Always rumours.”
“So you’re unable to help?”
“I regret not. I’m sure western boy will be easy to trace.”
“That is what we expected. Sadly your Interior Ministry has been unable to help. All we have is this story of him being seen with a Princess in the city and possibly spotted on a flight to Switzerland.” Tammy thought she saw the Princess’s face twitch momentarily but it was a fleeting glimpse.
“Such a shame, so little news. It must be distressing for you,” the Princess empathised.
Tammy wondered why the Princess didn’t mention the boy’s parents. “Yes, it is most concerning. I am sorry that I appear to have wasted your time, your Highness. I must be going. Thank you for your hospitality.” Tammy got up to leave.
“Wait, Madam Secretary. A word with you.” She motioned to Tammy to sit. “A word in private,” she emphasised. “Ladies, if you please.” She pointed to one of the doorways and waved at the girls to leave. She waited till the last had gone and the door closed before speaking. “They cannot speak English but better outside. Your grandson? He is educated boy? Yes?”
“Yes, he’s meant to be going to university but still hasn't applied. He’s taken a break to go travelling and decide what he wants to do. It’s a sort of gap year.”
“You allow a boy to travel by himself?”
“Yes. I would normally say ‘why not’ but in the circumstances perhaps you’re correct”
“Oh no, Madam Secretary, I wasn’t criticising, I was envious. I would love to travel. I would love to go to university in the United States. Life here is so restricted. Next week I am marrying a man I have never met. I have only seen pictures. He twice as old as me.”
“I am sorry, Princess. We have different customs. But you like it here.”
“I do, but I do not want to get married to older man. I like to marry man I choose.”
“I understand, your Highness.”
“I’m not sure you do, Madam Secretary.”
“Why?”
“I thought you would know, Madam Secretary.”
“No.”
“I thought you would recognise me.” The Princess removed her sunglasses.
Tammy gasped at the Princess’s unblemished beauty. Then a flooding realisation hit her. “Daniel? Daniel!” Tammy screeched and leapt up from her couch.
Daniel held his finger to his lips. “Quiet, Gran. We mustn’t let the servants know. You recognise me now, don’t you?”
“Daniel, is it really you?”
“Yes, Gran. Of course it’s me.”
“But you look so different. So ….. so…… “
“Yes, Gran?”
“So feminine.”
“Yes, Gran. I do, don’t I. That’s what the Princess thought when she saw me in the bazaar.”
“But I thought you were the Princess?”
“Thanks, Gran, that’s what everyone thinks. I had to stay in a backroom in the bazaar for several days until they got my make-up right, and I obviously needed the right clothes.”
“But why? Why are you here? And why you are you dressed like a girl?”
“Think about it Gran: I couldn’t be in the women’s quarters unless I was a girl. So, I am a girl.”
“But why?”
“Gran, do you remember watching ‘The Phantom Menace’ with me when it was on TV?”
“Remember? I remember seeing it in the cinema when it first came out.”
“Yes, but do you remember the plot?”
“What? About young Anakin, Obi-Wan Kenobi and that stupid Jar-Jar Binks. I did like Liam Neeson though.”
“Not that. About the Queen?”
“Queen Amidala?”
“Yes, the Queen, Padmé.”
“Wasn’t that Natalie Portman?
“Yes. But there was something special too.”
“What?”
“Do I really have to explain the plot, Gran? It was Keira Knightley too. I thought introducing myself as Princess Sabé might have given you a clue. Apparently not. Keira was a handmaiden who impersonated the Queen for a large chunk of the film.”
“I don’t get it, Dan. What’s ‘The Phantom Menace’ got to do with you?”
“I’m Keira Knightley.”
“Sorry? What?”
“I’m Keira. I’m standing in for the Princess.”
“I’m going to ask the same question again: why?”
“Because the Princess and I look alike. Almost exactly alike. It’s why we can fool the Palace staff provided I don’t say much and stick to broken English.”
Tammy paused. This was almost too much to handle. “But, I’m still going to keep asking: why?”
“Because the Princess doesn’t want to marry some old geezer. She wants to marry Vijay.”
“Who’s Vijay?”
“Some IT guy she met when she was skiing last winter. It’s why she’s gone to Switzerland.”
“So you were spotted in Switzerland.”
“Not me Gran, her.”
“Has she gone to Switzerland on your passport?”
“You’re finally getting there Madam Secretary Tammy Tibbetts.”
“There’s no need to be cheeky. But how can she be travelling like you? She’s a girl.”
“Like I said, we look alike. It’s almost like we’re twins. Isn’t that amazing, Gran?”
“And she dressed you like a girl?”
“Yes, but I was already wearing traditional dress in order to fit in. If I wear an abaya I don’t get pestered. I only need to look like my passport when I cross borders.”
“You mean you were already dressed like a girl when she met you.” Tammy sat back. She felt drained. How could this be happening? How could her grandson, her ward, have got himself into this position: dressed as a girl in a harem? Why had she allowed him to travel to this country? Why was he travelling like a girl? She drew a deep breath and steeled herself. She never thought it would come out like this. “Just stop Daniel. I need you to sit down and listen to something and listen carefully. Let me try to explain in terms you’ll understand. You used Star Wars as your reference.”
“Yes, ‘The Phantom Menace’: Part One of the series.”
“Well, I want you to fast forward to Part Nine.”
“The Rise of Skywalker? I did get to see that one in the cinema.”
“And you know the plot of that?”
“Sure. Rey eventually overcomes the Emperor but Ben dies.”
“And who is Rey?”
“Rey is Daisy Ridley. Didn’t she look great in all those films. As good as Keira even.”
“No, think about the film, who is Rey really?”
“The Emperor’s grand-daughter.”
“Exactly!”
“So what, Gran. What’s this got to do with me and the Princess?”
“There’s a reason you and the Princess look similar.”
“What? You’re not trying to tell me Darth Vadar was my father? That was ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ not ‘The Rise of Skywalker’. And the Princess isn't called Leia.”
“No! I’m trying to tell you that you and the Princess are half-cousins.”
“What?!”
“You’re half-cousins. You have the same grandfather?”
“How is that possible? Grandad Peter …”
“…. wasn’t your mother’s father.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry, dear Peter knew. He was always very understanding and loved Fiona as his own. But she was the daughter of the King, or the man who is now the King.”
“What?”
“It all happened a long time ago. We were young. We were students. Times were different.”
Dawning realisation hit Danile. “You mean the King fu……”
“We’ll have none of that language, young man. He wasn’t the King then. He was a student studying in New York. I didn’t even know he was royalty.”
“So you mean I’m related to royalty.”
“You could put it that way.”
“No wonder the Princess and I felt so close.”
“You didn’t ….”
Daniel looked mortally offended. “No Gran, of course not. Like I said, she has Vijay,” riposted Daniel. “He sounds like a nice man. A nice and very rich man. And I wouldn’t in any case. I guess if I’d met Vijay first ..” He left that last remark dangling for his grandmother.
“So what is the plan?” asked Tammy. “You’re here. When is the Princess coming back?”
“She’s not. She intends to go and live with Vijay. He’s got a place in Silicon Valley and some ranch in New Zeland.”
“But what about you?”
“We never really thought it through. She just wanted to get out the marriage next week.”
“Next week!” exclaimed Tammy. “You can be such an idiot at times, Daniel.”
“Ssssh!” motioned Daniel with his finger to his lips. “It might be OK. Her suitor looks quite handsome to me even if he is a bit older. There’s a lot of gossip in the royal family. The Princess says he might prefer a boy.”
“This isn’t a joke, Dan.”
“No but it would be the lap of luxury and if the male side of the family is as vigorous as the Princess says, I might find that I …..”
“Daniel. You don't mean that you’re ….. you’re …. “
“That I am gay? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Yes, I guess” admitted Tammy.
“Well, I wouldn't say gay, but I have found a lot of new pleasures on my travels. And it’s been lovely being dressed as a girl. I really seem to have found myself. They say travel broadens the mind; well it’s certainly stretched and widened me,” he said with a very cheeky grin.
“Really, Dan!” Tammy was realising that there was a side to Daniel that she’d never appreciated but now was not the time to discuss. She tried to overcome her shock and put on her diplomat’s head. She had to think fast. “Look Daniel, I don’t think this is wise. I think we have three options. Number One: we get the princess to come home and swap you back.”
“You can forget that. That’s never going to work. She’s not coming back.”
“OK. Number Two,” Tammy continued, “I go to the King and try to appeal to him. I don’t know how that would play out. He’d find he had a grandson he never knew about. He might want to keep you in the country to preserve the male line, although there’d be the issue of you living in the women’s quarters. There would be a lot of questions about that. Then there’s the marriage and the loss of face if it doesn’t happen. Men used to marry their catamites in antiquity so it might be acceptable but it would depend on the orthodoxy. The King could react to his grandson getting married to one of the neighbouring potentates. It could ruin the royal family’s reputation.”
“OK. So what’s Number Three.”
“Number Three is that we get you out of here and smuggle you on to my flight this evening.”
“Would that work?”
“Maybe, but it would be a major diplomatic incident if it gets found out.”
“So it’s Two or Three, Gran?”
“I guess, unless you have other ideas. You have to decide whether you want to risk getting married to a guy you don’t know and facing the consequences. What if the Princess is wrong and he doesn’t like boys?
“I know,” he said resignedly. “I think it’s got to be Three.”
“Sure?”
“Sure.”
“Well the first job is getting you out of here. Can you put on something less ostentatious? Does the Princess have any jeans?” Daniel nodded. “Then can you take me to the pick-up area?” Daniel nodded again. Tammy pulled out her phone. “Gordon, please bring the car round. I’ll have the Princess with me. See you in ten.” She closed the call. “If we get stopped I’ll say you’re going to show us the bazaar.”
“OK, Gran.”
“We won’t bother with the Embassy, we’ll go straight to air base. I can get Gordon to forward my stuff. No-one on the gates will question if you’re with me, we just need to get your make-up off and find some clothes for you in the BX . Then straight from my limo to the plane.”
“Gran?”
“Yes, Daniel.”
“I’ll be happy in the Princess’ jeans or a dress. I don’t want to take my make-up off and I don't want to go back to wearing boys’ clothes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Gran. I’ve been wearing an abaya for a while now. I’ll be more comfortable in a dress. And remember, the Princess has my passport. I’m not Daniel. I can be Danielle.”
“Yes, ….. Danielle.”
“And Gran?”
“I’ve decided that I do want to go to College when I get back.”
“Oh, that’s great Dan….Danielle. Where would you like to go?”
Tammy was unprepared for Danielle’s answer. “I’d like to go to Barnard, like you.”
“What! Barnard is ladies only.”
“Exactly.”
Danielle, you know you’re meant to be going to study. ”
“Yes, Gran. But but sounds like you met some nice boys there too,” he said smirking at Tammy.
****************************************
I will reply about the rest but I'm in shock. I thought that story had disappeared in the reject pile. It must be nearly a year since I wrote that thinking that 'The Rise of the Phantom' would appeal to your liking of Star Wars (and Keira, Natalie and Daisy of course). I'd reconciled myself to it being consigned to the dustbin of history. I hope people enjoy reading it. It was one of the ones I enjoyed writing most. No naughtiness just an adventure story. I think I described it at the time as being like a Graham Greene 'entertainment'. All I can say is a heartfelt thank you for letting it see the light of day. (And the only trouble with mentioning 'light of day' is that it'll get me thinking of Joan Jett. How many out there remember The Runaways? Do you really? You're showing your age.)
ReplyDeleteAfter that torrent: Amanda looks marvellous, Kitka excels, and Amber needs to be heaped with superlatives. But those Jane and Andy pictures of yours look tremendous. But it's not just Aunt Jane. Andy looks to have a new found confidence. Delicate make-up. A man's suit teamed with a blouse. A delicious compromise. Superb.
Once again, thank you for making another great Wednesday.
S xxx