This is a blog about Kinky stuff, at no point are any of the characters under the age of consent. This is the story of a young man discovering his true self with the guidance of a loving and understanding Aunt.
It is a tricky world for those who are searching for identity and we should all offer our love and support to those who are struggling.
Welcome
Hello and thank you for visiting my blog. Well it is not so much a blog more a place to share all the things i have written, drawn and generaly played with over the last 10 years. Most of them are related to my love of smooth slick Latex and shiny PVC, as well as the delights of feminization. I also have a huge crush on British TV presenter Carol Vorderman (The perfect model of the older woman) as well as the gorgeous Keira Knightley. (more my age). There will be nothing harsh or nasty here, just fun things, naughty things, sexy things and yes, well, Kinky things. Basically it's a stroll through the kinky lanes of my mind. hope you have fun. XXX
Not even the slowest internet connection in the universe will stop me posting this Wednesday round up.
Blog fave Kate Beckinsale, 49 (yes 49!!!) blasted back onto our radar last week with this awesome slick smooth and shiny Latex outfit and judging by that shine she must have had some dedicated help with the polishing.... Lucky people
Welcome to a quick Wednesday round up. I hope to get this back to normal as soon as possible, but until then we have three super sweet treats.
First one of my favourite TV presenters has stepped in front of the Smooth slick n shiny lens to reveal the Kink beneath the conservative image.
So here is Beautiful BBC Breakfast presenter Sally Nugent at the recent BBC sport awards as we can only dream of seeing her.
And not for the first time
Now something a little special, I have once again been messing with the digital world and now we have our sweet Andy almost at his most perfect.
and now form our dear friend Girlie Morgane 4 super translations of some of my art. I love these. Thank you Girlie XXX
Will: Waouh, tu as vu, une vraie bombe. Le gars avec qui j’échangeais à Paris me l'a donné. Tout le monde sur le campus l'a chez lui. Personne ne sait qui elle est. Il y a même un forum sur elle, des fans et tout… Tu en penses quoi ? Tu sais quelque chose ?
Andy: Ils les ont utilisées
Andy: Oh non ! non ! non ! non !
Will: Ils les ont utilisées ? Pourquoi tu paniques ? On dirait que tu as vu un fantôme.
Le premier jour d’accueil – les soins sont toujours compliqués, Jane. Je comprends tout à fait mais ne vous inquiétez pas, les petits vont l'adorer.
Wednesday this week brings us a stunning new piece of fiction by our dear Skinnie Stallion, I won't give anything away but when you get to it you will love love love it.
First a image hot off my news feed, Blog Legend Amanda Holden treats us to another glimpse of her naughty side.
However if she were to spin that skirt round she could re-create another Holden Classic.
Now a little music, with an Adventure straight from the pages of Andy Latex in the 25th Century.
Oh and it also features the legendary Jean Bardot.
Next a quick visit from a blog Favourite Lizzie Cundy, striking a slick figure in leather and boots.
Now four items from Aunt Jane's wardrobe, to which we have exclusive access.You may even spot some of the details taken over into the art.
And now, the main feature
Day Care - In the Pink
Day Care with S-Club Juniors
By Skinnie Stallion
Jane hated when Andy was sulky. At least it had only been a short journey. Jane applied the handbrake
and waited. Eventually Andy broke the silence, “Do I really have to do this, Auntie?”
“Yes, honey. I agreed with Mistress Strictly that you would.”
“But I don’t want to lose my Saturday with you. We have so little time together.”
“I know, but Mistress Strictly said you’d be taken good care of while I have one of my instruction days at Knightley Towers. We both have to work during the week, and I know our weekends are precious, but I need to go to Knightley Towers today. We can still Netflix and Chill tonight.”
“Can’t I come to Knightley Towers? I’ve been before.”
“I know honey, but not today. It’s a special day for newer members, not their trainees. I’m sure you’ll like it here and they’ll take good care of you. Mistress Strictly said it’s just a Saturday Club.”
“Well, if it’s a Saturday Club, why can’t they hold it in the grounds of Knightley Towers? They’ve got enough buildings on the estate.”
“You know they have visitors to the estate and the house. You had to sign that NDA when you had your maid training there, and you’ve still not been able to tell me what happened or who you saw.”
“Yes, Auntie. They were very clear about that. It was a legal contract. So, is this another of their buildings?”
“I guess so. It’s only five miles from Knightley Towers so I guess it must be a convenient drop-off for members.”
“But a Saturday Club, Auntie! I’ve never been to a Saturday Club.”
“Really? I used to go to Saturday morning pictures when I was young. I’m sure it’ll be like that.”
“But Auntie,” moaned Andy, “I can watch movies at home. And it’s not just the morning, it’s all day. And Auntie, no-one calls it the ‘pictures’ these days.”
“Less of your cheek young man. It’s just a Saturday Club, although Mistress Strictly called it ‘S-Club’. I know you like S-Club 7?”
“I did, Auntie. But they stopped ages ago.”
“It didn’t seem to stop you bopping along to ‘Reach’ or ‘Don’t Stop Movin’’ last Saturday.”
“I was just trying to keep up with you, Auntie. And we don’t say ‘bop’ these days either.”
“Thank you, Andrew. Enough!”
“So, I’m going to S-Club?”
“Sort of. Mistress Strictly actually called it ‘S Club Juniors’.”
“What sort of age, are we talking about? I don’t want to be with kids!” he exclaimed although his mind had turned to thinking about Frankie Sandford.
“I don’t know. You’ll have to see. I expect there’ll be some closer to your age. Look you must go
now. You’re going to make me late getting to Knightley Towers if you don’t. If only you hadn’t insisted on going back for your gloves?”
“But I had to Auntie: they complete the outfit. The ribbons on the cuffs match the bow in my hair”
“And the collar?”
“I couldn’t go out without my little latex collar. I’d feel naked without it.”
Aunt Jane was both annoyed by being behind schedule but secretly proud of her pretty protégée. Only a year ago, she’d have struggled to get him into a dress, now he wanted to look perfect with the perfect accessories. Those three weeks at Knightley Towers had done wonders for him. “We have to go, or rather you have to go, and I have to get to Knightley Towers. Now be good,” said Aunt Jane as Andy finally started to get out of the car, “it’s only for today.”
“Yes, Auntie,” said Andy glumly.
“And don’t forget Bill. I put him on the back seat.” Jane followed him out of the car and handed him a large fluffy teddy bear. She took his hand, leading him towards the front door. She could feel him shaking: her lovely boy was quivering with nerves. “Don’t worry, darling. Everything will be OK. I’m sure you’ll like a day with S Club Juniors.”
“Yes, Auntie, I know.”
“And Andrew …” Jane said as she rang the bell.
“Yes, Auntie?” Jane rarely used his name except in special circumstances.
“Make sure you keep Billy close,” she said as she rang the bell to the mansion whose drive they’d been parked on for the last ten minutes.
“Yes Auntie,” agreed Andy. He felt so proud of his Auntie, her brown latex jacket revealing just a hint of cleavage. Why couldn’t he be with her today and every day?
The door was opened by a formidable dark-haired lady in a practical white blouse and black skirt
“Hello, Lady Jane,” she said, “we’ve been expecting you and Andy. I’m Mistress Mistress. I look after S Club Juniors”. Andy was pleased to see the lady was pairing a pair of 4” black So Kate Loubous: practical but pretty.
“Hello Mistress,” said Jane. “I’m afraid Andy wanted to go back for his teddy. And it’s just Jane.”
“Oh, I think Lady Jane is much more becoming. I love your latex jacket. And your latex jodhpurs and dagger heel knee boots look fabulous.”
“Thank you, Mistress Mistress. That’s a rather unusual name?”
“It helps the younger girls to remember how to address me. This way they can’t get it wrong, and it gets them into the habit. I know it sounds old-fashioned, but repetition can still be very helpful when training our younger members. And this must be Andy.”
“Yes, this is Andy. Say hello, Andrew.”
“Hello Mistress,” mumbled Andy. Jane gave him a slight tap with the gold capped pointed toe of her boot. “Hello, Mistress Mistress,” he said standing straighter and remembering his training.
“Go on in Andy. I like your bear.”
“It’s my Bill the Bear,” said Andy holding his teddy by its ear.
“Was it your idea for him to bring his teddy, Lady Jane?”
“Yes, I wanted him to have something to play with in case he didn’t fit in. He likes to cuddle it. He loves his Willy.”
“I’m sure he does. He looks so sweet. But don’t worry, he’ll have plenty to occupy him today. Please go through Andy. The girls are all here and waiting. They’re all in their uniforms but don’t worry that you’re not.”
“Bye, Auntie. Bye, bye,” said Andy dolefully.
“Goodbye Andrew. I’ll be back at five.”
As Andy stepped from the porch into the hall, a wave of noise hit him. Before him was a sea of girls in their late teens and early twenties, who all seemed to have noticed him at the same time. There were screeches of delight:
“Look, look: a princess , a princess!
“She is so beautiful.”
“She is so shiny and sparkling.”
“What’s her dress made from?”
“Don’t her stockings shine?”
“I love her shoes.”
“She’s brought her teddy.”
“It’s a pink teddy, like her dress.”
Andy bit his lip and clutched his teddy hard. He didn’t want to lose his Willy. But he was in awe. In front of him was a group of some of the most amazing girls he had ever seen. They were an eclectic mix of shapes and heights, some pretty, some plain, but all made-up to perfection. He was particularly struck by an Afro-Caribbean girl and another couple who looked they were from somewhere in Asia. But what almost overwhelmed him was that all the girls were definitely in uniform, similarly attired in black latex catsuits with wide PVC belts and ankle strap high heels. They made a stunning, shiny spectacle.
Andy heard Aunt Jane say her farewells to Mistress Mistress who closed the front door and came through the hall. She started to usher the girls towards a side room: “Silence now, Demoiselles. Please go through to the classroom.” Andy was surprised by the respect with which she treated the girls. He hadn’t expected that, but they responded immediately. There was instant hush except for the staccato click of stiletto heels on the parquet floor. “Come along Andy. You can bring teddy.” She led Andy into a room laid out with individual desks. “Take your seats, Demoiselles.” There was a clatter and squeal of chairs. “Before we start today, I’d like you all to welcome Andy who’ll be joining us In Day Care today.”
“Hello, Andy,” chorused the group.
“Hello, ladies,” said Andy shyly, not knowing how to address them nor where to look across such a landscape of beauty and shiny latex.
“As you’ll see Andy is very pretty sissy.”
There were gasps from across the Day Care class: “A sissy!?” “He’s so pretty!” “I thought he was a girl!” “He’s so cute.” “I wish I had a boyfriend like him.”
“Silence please, Demoiselles! Yes, he is a sissy. He’s being trained by one of newer members. You can see the progress Andy has made in just two years. Sadly, our member tried to start his training herself, but she did send him to Knightley Towers for three weeks of sissymaid training earlier in the summer. Since then he’s come on by leaps and bounds to become the delightful confection you see before you.”
There were more admiring murmurs from the class as Mistress Mistress looked first at Andy and then surveyed the class. “Now Demoiselles, we have a busy day ahead. We have a lot to get through today.” She pressed a button on a console and a wide-screen recessed in the wall behind her lit up. As the picture formed, her eye caught something and she gave a withering look at one of her students. “Excuse me: Chantelle, can you come to the front, please.” A short dark-haired girl rose from behind her desk and walked to the front of the class. “Face the class, Chantelle.” Chantelle turned and looked at her peers. “Demoiselles, what is wrong with Chantelle’s styling?” A few hands shot up. Mistress Mistress surveyed the class and was about to select one when she paused. “No, let me ask Andy, first. See what he remembers from his time at Knightley Towers. Andy what do you think is wrong with Chantelle’s styling?”
Andy was jolted into life. He hadn’t been expecting this. He wondered what to say. He was desperate not to say the wrong thing. He shook his head slightly causing his large hoop-earrings to swing and tap against his finely rouged cheekbones. “Come along, Andy,” Mistress Mistress chided him, “I’m sure you know, especially after those weeks at Knightley Towers.”
Andy raised his eyes and looked at Chantelle. He blushed as she stared back at him. He looked her up and down. ‘Is the answer that obvious?’ he thought to himself. He bit his lip. It had to be. He collected himself and said, “Mistress Chantelle,” there was a titter from the back of the class causing him to stop but Mistress Mistress waved her hand instructing him to proceed. “Mistress Chantelle,” he continued “is wearing soft soled boots and no heels.”
“Quite correct. And why is that a problem, Andy?”
“A Mistress should always wear heels at least four inches in height, and ideally five.”
“Yes, Andy, and why is that?”
“So that a Mistress has heightened femininity. She should be attractive to alpha males and irresistible to betas, but also maintain a height advantage especially when sissies are present since the sissy is likely to wearing heels too.”
“And what should a shorter Mistress do in these circumstances.”
“Mistresses should wear a platform sole to provide an additional one or two inches allowing an increase in their heel height to six, seven or even eight inches without causing excessive strain to their calves or ankles.”
“Perfect. A model answer. And what about Chantelle’s boots?”
Andy looked down again at Chantelle’s Doc Marten’s. She’d embellished her pair of knee-high Bex with glittering silver laces. “They look really pretty.” Chantelle’s grimace turned to a smile. Andy smiled back.
“No that’s not the answer I was looking for. Demoiselles, what is the answer?” A hand shot up. “Yes, Emma.”
“Flat soled boots can be worn in dungeons. They are practical to wear on stone flagged floors or when ball kicking is required,” said a cute looking girl with a little pixie bob.
“Excellent answer, Emma.” The girl beamed. You must have been reading ahead since we will only address dungeons and dungeon wear in Year 2, or if you decide to take the starter course in BDSM as an elective for this year.” Several girls turned and looked at Emma. Andy thought she was probably the class swot. “Chantelle, you may go back to your desk. As Emma has told us, your boots may be acceptable on certain future occasions and no doubt comfortable over a long day, but while you are an S Club Junior, please wear your regulation heels.”
“Yes, Mistress Mistress,” said a relieved looking Chantelle who glowered at Emma as she walked back.
“Now Demoiselles, a quick reminder of where we are up to in the Syllabus for your Foundation Module.” Mistress pressed a button on the console and the picture changed.
While the Mistress talked, Andy looked at the screen with interest. This clearly wasn’t normal ‘Day Care’. A twenty week training course and this was just called a Foundation Module. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. This wasn’t a Day Care centre to look after the children or charges of members of The Sisterhood. This was a training centre for new members or younger ladies who hoped to become members. No wonder Auntie had so much catching-up to do if she’d only been invited to join The Sisterhood in the last year.
“We’re now on Week 8 and will be covering Restraint. I hope you find seeing Andy, a useful refresher of Week 7. It’s a shame Andy couldn’t join us last week since I think he embodies everything we were trying to cover. He’s even taken us a bit ahead since you’ll see in Andy many of the features we’ll be covering in Week 13. Anyway, we’re just fortunate to have him with us today. So, what are we going to be covering this week?” her hand touched the console again.
“Restraint. You’ll see we have a busy day ahead, although we will have some breaks as we go through. We obviously have the great advantage of having Andy with us and we’ll be able to use him as a demonstrator.” She turned to Andy, “You won’t mind that, will you honey? Your Auntie said you’d be quite happy. She was very positive about your participation.”
“Er, no,” replied Andy who was starting to become frightened about the day ahead.
“Good. There’s no need to worry, dear: the Demoiselles will be quite gentle with you. It makes the
classes so much more realistic if they have someone to practise on. Before we get started Demoiselles, I just need to give you a little warning. Andy’s Mistress has advised that he is not wearing any of the devices that we talked about last week and which we’ll cover in more detail next. This shouldn’t be a problem this morning, but we will have Andy stripped off this afternoon. So please expect some reactions from Andy today, both morning and afternoon. If they occur, they will be perfectly natural and nothing to be concerned about. You’ll see how a healthy sissy responds to the presence and attentions of a Mistress. Latex gloves will be available.”
Andy gulped. It was going to be a long day. He hoped he wasn’t going to disgrace himself before these young ladies, but they did look very nice. He was glad he was well tucked - at least for the time being. But a Vac Bed! He’d always wanted to try to a Vac Bed.
It was nearly six o’clock when the doors of the Day Care centre opened and girls started to spill out on to the drive. Jane had been parked near the front for some time. She had kept herself occupied by patching the recording on the secure server at Fullerton Hall through to the big screen on the central console of the Tesla. She went back to the start: it was still recording since she’d initiated it that morning as soon as she’d dropped Andy. It spluttered into life: a shaky shot of the hallway and, “Silence now, Demoiselles. Please go through to the classroom. Clicky noises and clatter. Come along Andy. You can bring teddy. More clicks and clatter.” The picture swung violently and lurched forward into an adjacent room. "Take your seats, Demoiselles. The squeal of chairs. Before we start today, I’d like you all to welcome Andy who’ll be joining us In Day Care today…..” The juddery image on the screen of a floor shifted to a steadier picture of Mistress Mistress addressing a class. Andy had clearly stopped dragging Willy by the ear and had picked him up and was holding him in his arms. “Hello Andy.” She flipped from the camera in Willy’s right eye to the one embedded in his left paw. Now she was looking at classroom full of latex clad young mistresses. Very nice. “Hello ladies,” she heard her pretty nephew say.
There were queues of cars waiting to pick-up the girls, but they stood around the entrance as if waiting for something. Jane got out to see what was happening and to collect Andy. Mistress Mistress came out. “How is Andy?” blurted Jane. “Was he good?” And then, “And where is Andy?” before Mistress Mistress had any chance to reply to any of her earlier questions.
“Lady Jane, Andy is fine. He was very good and the Demoiselles really appreciated having him join us today.”
“But where is he?”
“He’ll be brought out shortly. The girls just wanted to give you a little gift as a token of their appreciation. I’ve asked a couple of our security guards to bring it out.” The girls started to mill closer round the entrance.
“Oh, you shouldn’t have done,” said Jane turning to address the assembled throng.
“Lady Jane, I’m sure you’ll want this gift,” said Mistress Mistress.
The front door opened again and two burly ladies clad in leather trousers, jackets and shiny peak caps emerged gripping an arched handle supporting a board on which was mounted a black shiny object that Jane took initially to be an enormous dark glazed suckling pig with a little, black curly tail. The rear was shapely and it had been well trussed. “I’m afraid the girls got a little carried away during their final practical,” said Mistress Mistress. “It’s why we’ve overrun. Do you like cherries, Lady Jane?”
“Yes.”
“And chocolate sauce?”
“Yes.”
“Cherries and chocolate sauce?”
“Well, it’s not a combination I’d normally choose. Maybe some kirsch and a little cream, or almond macaroons would go better. Or stuffed in a roast duck to create a lovely, sweet sauce.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. The Demoiselles chose cherries with chocolate sauce.”
“In a suckling pig? That would be an unusual combination. I know Mexican cooking can include chocolate in savoury dishes to offset the spiciness.”
Oh, I’m sure you’ll find this very savoury and very tasty. Can you open your car boot for the guards, please?” Jane flipped her remote fob and the lid to the trunk lifted. The guards passed between her and Mistress Mistress. Jane swivelled as they passed and looked down at the shiny gift. The face of the animal was now looking back at her. Although it wore a black latex gimp hood with piggy ears, and had a large ball gag in its mouth, Jane would recognise the eyes anywhere. Staring at her with pleading, tear-filled eyes was her nephew. He was bent forward, tightly wrapped in black cling-film, his arms bent backwards and bound with electrostatic tape. More tape was wound round his body keeping him kneeling and securely trussed. “Doesn’t he look a pretty piggy, Lady Jane?” said Mistress Mistress handing her a small carrier bag.
“What’s this, and what have you done to Andy?”
“The bag? Just his clothes and his shoes. And Andy? Our final session of the day was on Wrapping: he’s been trussed and stuffed. The Demoiselles hope you’ll enjoy your dessert when you get home this evening.” There were cheers and applause from the young Mistresses.
The guards put the platter into the deep trunk of the Tesla and closed it. “And Lady Jane…”
“Yes?”
“Here’s his teddy.” She handed Bill the Bear to Jane, except Bill had been blindfolded and was wearing a latex sock over his left foot. “It was silly putting cameras in his teddy. Our scanners detected them immediately. Enjoy your recording - what’s left of it.”
“Oh!”
“And Lady Jane ….”
“Yes?”
“We will expect to see Andy next week and all the following weeks of this module following your misdemeanour.”
“Understood,” said Lady Jane grudgingly.
“And Lady Jane….”
“Yes?”
“I wouldn’t linger too long on your journey home, or before you enjoy your dessert. I made sure the Demoiselles used dark chocolate in their sauce. Dark chocolate with ginger.”
“Yes?”
“Dark chocolate with raw ginger. Balls of raw ginger to accompany the cherries.”
“Oh!”
“Don't worry, his tail is attached to a two inch plug and there’s extra wrapping round his bottom so he can’t push it out and nothing can escape. He won’t make a mess inside your pristine Tesla. But I think your sissy is going to want you to finish your dessert quickly and have it with a lot of cream when you get home. Enjoy your evening. Andy’s going to be very willing tonight.”
Jane turned and started to run towards the Tesla. The girls began applauding amid waves of laughter. “Come back soon, Andy!” they called. Jane had to get Andy home. She wanted to get her own back on Mistress Mistress. But how? Jane stopped. She would show her superiority. She began a slow, sedate walk to her car. She wouldn’t rush. Andy could stay in the dark boot of the Tesla.
Jane was already planning the evening ahead. She’d stop at the late shop in the village to get some cans of squirty cream. She’d remove Bill the Bear’s blindfold and sock and put him on charge, and bring a full length mirror through to the kitchen. Then she’d get her gardener to put Andy on the kitchen table while she prepared dinner. If she was going to have cherries, she wanted them nice and warm, and she’d enjoy watching Andy’s eyes water while he waited. She’d put a can of cream on the counter-top in front of him to tantalise and tease while the ginger raged inside him. She’d put the other cans to cool in the fridge. She thought with pleasure about how hot and sticky her perspiring little piggy would get inside his wrapping.
She’d sit down at the table and he could watch her eat her main course. Before she began her dessert, she’d fetch her harness from her bedside table and maybe she’d swap his ball gag for something he’d prefer to suck on when she removed his tail. She’d better wear a latex apron in case there was any splashing and have a large bowl ready in case of an eruption. And then there would be cherries with ginger and chocolate sauce to enjoy. There’d be no need to unwrap him. It would be easier to fill him with soothing cream while he was still trussed. Then all she’d need to do was position the mirror so that Andy could watch, turn on Bill the Bear to start the recording, take off her apron, put on her harness, get the cans of cold cream from the fridge, and climb on to the kitchen table. There might be no Netflix tonight, but her little piggy was definitely going to get very Chilled.
Time for a new collection of bits and bobs, plus the main feature, Chapter 2 of "The Extravaganza"
So first up and this really gave me the trembles when I came across it. Yes Its, Kylie Minogue back in Latex!!!!! Now calm down
people, it is only the very briefest of glimpses of a lovely skirt and one rather lovey photo, however I charge you my friend to see if you can find any more images and videos of this moment. These were from Instagram and twitter, but there must be more out there somewhere, surely.
Next a very strange thing. I have checked back though the blog and nowhere can I find this image Of Emma Watson, I can't imagine I overlooked it but can find no trace of it and so, without any more explanation here we have it. Most strange.
Now we have a few of our dear anonymous friends, wonderful translations of my art into French. I have many more of these to share, but here is just a little selection.
Also, may I ask if any of you use the Translation option on my blog. I know it doesn't work on my art, but I hope it works on other aspects. Feel free to reply in whichever language you are most comfortable in.
And now finally we have the main event, Chapter 2 of Mistress LeatherBeths, awesome story.
The Extravaganza –
Chapter 2
By Mistress Leather Beth
Wednesday, 3pm prompt, Jane pressed the doorbell at the Grange. The house was little more than five years old and quite out of keeping with the rest of the village. For example, Snowdrop Cottage, where Carmel and JoJo had settled in so very well, was more than a hundred times older.
Fortunately, The Grange was tucked away down Strawberry Lane, and many locals thought that that was the best place for it, out of sight and out of mind. Jane had smiled when Will had described it as ‘Mock Architecture’, new pretending to be old, and failing at both.
Meanwhile, Andy fidgeted, dabbing at imagined specks on his gleaming white apron and constantly rechecking his older, less sophisticated make up, as they waited for the bell to be answered. In due course the door swung slowly open to reveal what can only be described as a round shouldered, middle aged man in a maid’s uniform and, to be truthful, make up bordering on the hideous. The eyeshadow looked as though it had been applied with a trowel, the lipstick with a water pistol and as for the lashes…
“Who is it, George?” came a voice from the top of the stairs.
“Lady Jane and her maid, M’Lady,” came the reply in a light, lisping voice which few self-respecting sissies would use if anything better were available. A few moments later, Izzy Cooper had descended the stairs. An attractive woman, to be sure, but she was always going to run second to Jane as a head turner, even when, as today, their wardrobes were quite similar.
“Ah, thank you, Belinda. Jane, dahling, how are you, my dear. It’s so kind of you to offer your assistance. And may I say that you have probably the most exquisite maid I’ve ever seen,” giving Belinda a glance which caused the older maid to stare at his unattractive brogues while reddening somewhat. “She really is a tour de force.” Andy would have been thoroughly intimidated by this powerful woman’s attention if it hadn’t been plain that the majority of what she said was for Belinda’s benefit.
“Why, thank you, Isobel, dear, but Andy was an absolute dream to work with. A little pouty perhaps to begin with, but he knew as well as I that ultimately the girl inside just wouldn’t be denied her time in the sun. Anyway, I’m sure you have work for him, so I’ll let you get on. I’ll send Will, Andy’s boyfriend, to fetch him home later. Shall we say five? Andy, dear, be a good maid and make me proud of you. Goodbye, Isobel, dear. Until Friday.”
With that, Jane turned on a killer heel and walked briskly back toward the village High Street.
“Well,” said Isobel, “I must get back to what I was doing. Belinda will show you around and explain your duties and, please, Belinda, try to be a little more careful.” Just an instant later she was at the top of the staircase and turning out of sight, a last finger of sun from a skylight glinting off her vinyl derrière.
Belinda raised her eyes from the ground and began to speak in a voice which totally fitted the description of ‘simpering’.
“I think that firtht we should jutht take a brief tour of the houthe, to get our bearingth. If you’ll jutht follow me, thith way… O, thod!” At this, Belinda reached into a small pocket in the back of her linen apron and brought out a mobile which had obviously just vibrated. Belinda glanced at the name on the screen and a total transformation took place as she answered the call. Stand up straight, shoulders back, a firm, clear baritone.
“Haskins! News? Singapore has agreed the deal? I thought so. I knew that Ho Chan was bluffing. The Zoning Commission is on board? Good.
“Now, I need the full cost breakdown before the NASDAQ closes, as well as the very latest voting forecasts from the Manitoba Provincial Legislature Gas and Oil Select Committee. Also, you’ll need to speak to Yevgeny about the Tashkent project. Tell him that he has three days to bring Жosimov round to our way of thinking or else he’s fired. You’ve got that? OK, ‘Bye.”
By the time the phone was back in its little apron pocket, Belinda had returned.
“I’m tho thorry about that, but Mathter George ith thuch a very buthy man. Ath I thaid, if you’ll follow me. Thith way.”
Andy wath confuthed (sorry, confused). Belinda had that effect on people.
“Erm, how long have you been with the Coopers?” asked Andy, thinking that this would be a safe, straightforward question.
“I began therving Lady Magdelena thome three yearth before thhe married Mathter George,” was the oddly worded reply.
Andy furrowed a pretty brow, took a deep breath and started thinking. “George is Belinda and Belinda is George. But they seem to think of each other as independent characters. Is it schizophrenia, or just an ‘old maid syndrome’? Whichever it is, it’s hard work. But at least I know now what Mrs Cooper calls herself. Lady Magdelena.”
Upstairs, Izzy dialed a number. A few seconds later she said, “Katherine? Ah. Kat. Yes. Isobel Cooper here. You’re well? So glad. Now, I hear from young Chloë that you and your friend will be attending our HotHouse Extravaganza on Friday evening, and I was wondering if the pair of you could give Chloë some assistance with a little set piece we’re organising? You can? So kind of you. Chloë will let you have the details, if you have a word with her. Thank you so much. Goodbye.”
By the time he and Belinda had seen most of the house, the general impression that Andy had gained was one of large amounts of money having been thrown at interior designers to install as little character as possible. No expense had been spared, but most of it had been wasted.
Andy suddenly stopped. “What’s through there?” he asked, pointing to a door behind a curtain in the wall of the lounge.
“There? Oh, that’th nowhere, erm, nothing, er, Belinda doethn’t go in there, well, not uthually, no.”
”Wait a minute,” said Andy. “That’s the outside wall, isn’t it? Or it should be. Or is it actually the extension to the garage through that door?”
“Belinda wouldn’t know about thuch thingth.”
Andy had spent enough time in Jane’s company to know how to get a question answered. “Do Lady Magdelena and Master George spend much time in there?”
With obvious unwillingness, Belinda replied, “All I can thay ith that I do know that Lady Magdelena hath her own ecthtenthive tool kit, conthithting of a very large thelecthion of interethting, or ath thhe liketh to dethcribe them, amuthing devitheth. Thhe enjoyth tinkering whiltht Mathter George aththithtth her from hith pothithion thomewhere down in the depthth of the the pit.”
Andy made a note to ask Will if he enjoyed tinkering, but left his questioning there, apart from enquiring, “Will the garage be in use during Friday’s Extravaganza?”
“I believe Lady Magdelena’th guethtth will be able to actheth all areath, and no partth of the houthe will be out of boundth. Ath I underthtand the thituathion, the garage will be parthially theparated into areath for cothtume changeth, private amuthement, etthetera.”
Andy was impressed. For someone who didn’t lisp naturally, Belinda was admirably consistent, as though her brain had a find/replace function. And ‘private amusement’ was an interesting euphemism.
“What will our main jobs be?” he enquired.
“On Thaturday afternoon there will be a thertain amount of furniture to rearrange in the through lounge. We will altho liathe with the catererth, and, when the guethtth thtart to arrive, we will therve drinkth and canapéth. We may altho be required to aththitht guethtth and modelth if they have any cothtume problemth or malfuncthionth. We will altho be tathked with helping to enthure that any babieth and petth behave themthelveth ath much ath poththible.”
“Models?” frowned Andy, dismissing the reference to babies.
“Oh, yeth. HotHouthe ith putting on a Fathhion Thhow of thortth ath a promothion for the new buthinethth. Lady Magdelena and Madame Thtella are determined for HotHouthe to be a thtunning thucthethth, and thith will be the firtht of theverel promothional ectherthitheth. Modelling dutieth will be performed by memberth of thtaff and volunteerth.”
“That doesn’t sound as though we really needed this run through today.”.
“Erm, no, but Lady Magdelena wath very ancthiouth for you to meet both Belinda and Mathter George. Thhe felt that a maid ath beautiful ath yourthelf would motivate them to greater heightth.”
Andy digested this. In truth, it sounded a little sad. George would obviously have given anything to be a glamourous, sexy maid, but he totally lacked any of the physical attributes necessary. But equally, Lady Magdalena lacked Jane’s skill in bringing out the femininity which she had seen just below Andy’s surface. Then again, maybe Magdalena and George found mutual gratification in Belinda’s total devotion.
As if on cue, the doorbell rang, and Belinda shuffled across the hall to open the door. Sadly, it must be reported that when Will caught sight of the maid there was a definite double take, and maybe even a shudder, but he recovered swiftly and said, “Hello, I’m here to collect Andy.”
“Thertainly, thir, he’th jutht here in the hall. Do thtep inthide.”
Andy rushed into Will’s arms and the pair luxuriated in a long, deep, warm, loving kiss. “’Bye, Belinda,” Andy said over his shoulder. “We’ll see you and Master George on Friday, about 4 pm.” With that, Andy and Will made their way home.
With the announcement of her recent marriage in the news, we here at S.S.n.S were reminded of the day that Rachel Riley, the beautiful Maths wizz on Channel 4s Countdown program, caused a national sensation by wearing Latex.
Not since the days of her predecessor, Carol Vorderman and
her legendary leather clad bottom, had pause and rewind buttons gone into such a meltdown. This was Rachel Riley, sweet, giggly, bright and brilliant Rachel Riley actually wearing Latex. So to celebrate, we tracked Rachel down for a quick chat, just to fill in the details.
It is nearly 5 years since Television presenter and mathematician Rachel Riley appeared on the daytime game show Countdown wearing Latex. It was a appearance which sent her millions of fans crazy, however it would be one she was never to repeat.
We caught up with the beautiful and charming 33 year old presenter to find out the background to the story.
Rachel Riley Well it was a special occasion we had just be entered into the Guinness book world records as the longest game show in history, so I thought it deserved something a little special and I been searching around for something and there had been a spate of celebrities wearing Latex at red carpet events that year and I thought, oh interesting. But it was meeting Kylie Minogue at the Brit awards that year that really cemented the idea. She was wearing this amazingly stylish, black and white Latex dress and she told me it was by this designer named William Wilde and that he created brilliantly classy Latex dresses and that if I did want to try Latex he was the chap to see.
Normally there is not a problem with wardrobe, there are a few things we all tend to shy away from, but I thought I had better run it past the producers first and they did um and ah for a few minutes but, as the dress I showed them was modest and classic they Ok’d it. Like I said, there is normally no problem, they know we all have our styles and they go along, but I can’t help thinking that if I had walked out on set in that dress, unannounced they might have seriously freaked out.
So it was William Wilde?
Yes, And she (Kylie) was right, he was superb and explained all about how the dress would feel and look and even how I might feel wearing it, that in my position, wearing Latex would be a serious thing and that it would not go unnoticed. He was almost a counsellor, totally wonderful, not trying to dissuade me, just warning me.
From then on I was really excited to find out for myself. Everything is made to measure, we had four fitting and I was so nervous each time I went back because I like a biscuit and because the measurements were so detailed I was terrified it wasn’t going to fit, but it was perfect. However I did ask him to adjust the original neckline because it was a little too daring for daytime TV, but he was totally cool and understood.
So were you confident
Yes pretty much, The first time I put it on in William Wilde’s studio it was perfect and exactly what I wanted, however then they said it needed polishing. Polishing? It had not dawned on me until that moment that it wouldn’t need anything but a quick wiping over, but they literally slicked me up all shiny with this silicone oil and I suddenly realised I was wearing this incredibly sexy fetish material, suddenly I was wearing latex and the stylish simple and classic dress had become something…way more…..living, alive, every movement was now highlighted and exaggerated and to be totally honest I nearly, nearly changed my mind……nearly.
Rachel Riley along with Nick Hewer and Lexicographer (look it up) Susie Dent
What stopped you
Well it was just an amazing feeling, transformative. It was kind of like when we started making the spin off show 8 out of 10 cats do countdown, on that I could be more myself, it was a later night comedy version of the show and a lot looser and I was free to wear more my own styles and now I could bring that back for one day to the show it all started from. So I nearly changed my mind…..nearly
So your confident in the dress. Tell us about the day itself
When we shoot, we do 5 shows a day, for the week, which means after each show, Susie, Nick and I, we all have to go away and change and restyle as if we were coming back the next day. It’s a common TV thing, anyway I wanted to wear the dress for the first one, the record breaking show and that is usually the one which take most time because it is the first and there are lighting and sound and set checks and such things and we can take maybe an hour and a half you do the first 30 minute show. Great, not a problem, unless you are silly enough to be wearing latex. I sweated, I sweated buckets, I don’t think I will need the gym to sweat now, all I need is to stand under those studio lights in a latex dress, because they are intense and I could feel it making the dress slide on me.
Now with the sweat, there comes the smell, not so much of me but of the hot Latex, which meant that when It came time to change into the outfit for the next show I smelt so strongly of rubber that I actually held up the recording for an hour because I was in the shower so long.
But it was not just my problem, the sound guys had a issue too, as your readers will know latex can make some very odd sounds and we have to wear our studio microphones in the top of our outfits, the wire for which usually runs down our tops and round into our mic packs, well that wasn’t going to happen in that dress, I mean I had already sacrificed my underwear because of the lines they made, so a mic wire had no chance. Anyway we used a wireless pip mic, just between my boobs. No wire no problem, however because these things are so sensitive every time I moved the sound guys would pick up this crackling latex squeak or worse
Worse?
Susie called it Boobfart, I think she wants to add it to the dictionary with my name on it. I think she defined it as, the low and distinctive squeak created by moist air escaping from beneath a latex dress. BoobFart
So what were your thoughts?
To be honest, it was nice to try but I think the dress will be going back in the wardrobe. I love it ,I really do, it is very special and it was comfortable and strangely pleasant in the way it gripped and hugged, but it was just so hot and such a fuss .Even the business of getting in and out of it was awkward, all the lubing and wriggling took a long time and then it has to be polished. In William Wilde’s studio it was fine, we had time and his assistance, but in real life, tricky. Fortunately Susie and I share a changing room so she was on hand to help on the day.
With the polishing?
All of it, I’d have been pretty stuffed without her.
Did she mind?
No, I don’t think so and I didn’t, she’s always had nice soft hands.
I think on that thought , Rachel Riley… Thank you.
I had never met Rachel before and she is just as you see her on TV, incredibly bright, smart, clever, open sunny and beautiful. But a word of warning. If you are ever gifted one of her widest smiles, prepare to fall in love.
You may recall a few months ago there was quite a commotion in the press in Britain over Good Morning Britain presenter Susanna Reid wearing a latex skirt
Well as it turned out that was a very smooth leather skirt, all very nice, but still leather. However sauces here at S.S.n.S have been digging around and it has come to light that Ms Reid had indeed intended to wear a Latex skirt but her bosses ruled it would be to much for morning viewers to take in without loosing concentration on the news. (News? on GMTv who are you kidding?) Anyway here is the proof. Susanna Reid in what appears to be a Black Latex Skirt. Wow!
Hi Everyone As I said I would post the inspiration for my last piece of art. The lovely Emma Bunton in a stunning black leather trench coat. Can't help thinking that, unless she was naked beneath it, she would have been very very hot by the end of the evening. XXX Andy
Hi Everyone
My L.A correspondent Amanda Keira has just logged a new report of the Latexium curse. My apologies for not re-formatting her words prior to publication. Enjoy
Hello to everyone back home in England, this is your on the spot reporter Amanda Keira Louboutin reporting from the shrine auditorium L.A , where on the 7th of May we witnessed, not only the annual MTV Movie awards, but the latest manifestation of the bizarre and unworldly Latexium curse, which for the past few years has been centred around the blossoming actress, activist and star of the years biggest film Beauty and the Beast, Emma Watson. However, today I can exclusively reveal and despite the chatter on social media and the speculation surrounding Miss Watsons stunning appearance at the awards, the simple and sleek Latex dress she wore was indeed worn at her own choice and not as a result of the curses influence. Having followed these events for some time I have gained the trust of both Miss Watsons people and the British style icon herself and as such gained a few moments for a chat. S.S.n.SWhen you arrived and accepted your award you were in a very different outfit Emma. Then at the after show press call you were wearing Latex. Did we witness the Latexium curse tonight?
Emma Watson accepting her MTV Award
E.W.Kind of, I could sense the curse was becoming active, that smell of Latex about me. So after I had been on stage I changed into this dress. S.S.n.SA sort of preemptive strike on your part. E.W Yes, in a way S.S.n.SSo you just happen to have a Latex dress to hand? E.W I keep this dress with me whenever I travel, It is a sort of safety net, because I really do not want to risk the curse creating anything inappropriate. It is very conservative and clean and If I have to wear Latex then this is what I would choose. S.S.n.S You bought it, so who is the designer? E.W It is William Wilde, from his basic collection. S.S.n.S William Wilde is one of my favourite Latex designers, May I ask if you had a fitting?
E.W Yes, I went to his studio, he was very discrete and kind and helped with this and a couple of other outfits. S.S.n.S So we may see you in other Wilde designs E.W Hopefully not, Latex is still not my choice S.S.n.S We have not seen the curse in a few months now, do you have it under control? E.W Kind of. For the past few months I have been wearing Latex close to my skin at all times, it is not a problem, all very discrete and that for a while kept the curse satisfied, however over the past weeks it has been trying to influence my dress again and so I had started, extending my contact with Latex to sleeping under Latex sheets S.S.n.SWow! A very hot and sticky experience yes? E.W.Eh yes, Unpleasantly so, especially here in L.A, I find myself waking, wrapped in the sheets like a sweaty mummy. However it works and I had little thought for the curse until tonight. But the dress is enough to keep the curse in check. Whatever the reason for her stunningly confident and impossibly sexy red carpet appearance the 2017 MTV Awards will, this year, be remembered for a very different kind of winner.That and the image of a sweaty Emma Watson mummified in Latex. In L.A, I am Amanda Keira Louboutin Stay shiny XX
There were more admiring murmurs from the class as Mistress Mistress looked first at Andy and then surveyed the class. “Now Demoiselles, we have a busy day ahead. We have a lot to get through today.” She pressed a button on a console and a wide-screen recessed in the wall behind her lit up. As the picture formed, her eye caught something and she gave a withering look at one of her students. “Excuse me: Chantelle, can you come to the front, please.” A short dark-haired girl rose from behind her desk and walked to the front of the class. “Face the class, Chantelle.” Chantelle turned and looked at her peers. “Demoiselles, what is wrong with Chantelle’s styling?” A few hands shot up. Mistress Mistress surveyed the class and was about to select one when she paused. “No, let me ask Andy, first. See what he remembers from his time at Knightley Towers. Andy what do you think is wrong with Chantelle’s styling?”
Not since the days of her predecessor, Carol Vorderman and
Well as it turned out that was a very smooth leather skirt, all very nice, but still leather. However sauces here at S.S.n.S have been digging around and it has come to light that Ms Reid had indeed intended to wear a Latex skirt but her bosses ruled it would be to much for morning viewers to take in without loosing concentration on the news. (News? on GMTv who are you kidding?) Anyway here is the proof. Susanna Reid in what appears to be a Black Latex Skirt. Wow!
