Please help keep our
blog alive.
From only $3 a month
Hi Everyone
Blog readers can benefit today from a little bit of good/bad fortune. I had intended to post this only on Patreon, however this fun piece by dear Skinnie S, would have fallen foul of the platforms rules. It being flagged as potentially pornographic?
I don't believe it is anything but naughty fun, but the last thing I want to do is mess up on there. So here it is safe and sound on the blog.
It is an answer to a question asked over on Patreon by our very own Aidan.
I won't say what the references are to, but will reveal all at the end
XXX
Andy
Aidan’s Question:
Skinnie Stallion
A Gardeners’ Question Time special
Radio Announcer :
In a change to our scheduled programming, this afternoon's edition of "Gardeners’ Question Time" will be replaced by a special studio edition.
Kathy Glugsome : Welcome to this special edition of Gardeners’ Question Time. We were all set up for our planned live broadcast today of GQT but because of some positive test results in Derrington and needing to isolate, we have had to cancel at short notice. All our panellists will be calling in today from their homes so we may have some sound quality issues. And, since some of our regulars are now ill in bed, we are delighted to welcome a special guest who’ll be joining our panel for the first time.
So today we welcome back our regulars Daphne Bedwood and Professor Alan Gobble, and say a warm hello to Mistress Brownthumb from BBC3’s “Sissy Time”.
Daphne, Prof. : Hello. (muted)
Mistress : Hello darlings. (muted)
Kathy Glugsome : Ladies and Gentlemen, our panel today.
And we’ll go right in with our first question today. It’s from someone who just signs themselves ‘Aidan’. Aidan asks: “What kind of compost does a Sissy-plant require?”
Professor Alan Gobble, I believe cultivating sissies is a very new process. What are your thoughts on this?
Prof. Alan : Well firstly Kathy let me say that I’m quite surprised by this question. Details of this new cultivation technique have only recently been released to the scientific and horticultural media. ‘Nature’ has yet to publish a peer reviewed article on the subject although the first fruits can be seen in some clubs in London and Brighton, as well as certain country houses. And there is already talk of a growing export trade to the Middle East and west coast America.
I know that Kew is trying to get its hands on some sample seedlings but have been inhibited by the prices being asked. I can only refer to the article in ‘Nature’ that stated the need for ‘a nutrient rich soil’. I would suggest that a John Innes No.3 would probably provide appropriately balanced growing conditions. However, I think it will be quite a while before Aidan will be able get his hands on a Sissy-plant to try.
Kathy Glugsome : Thank you Alan. And what are your thoughts, Daphne Bedwood?
Daphne : I’m sorry but I’m going to have to disagree with Alan. This is where the academic side shows its deficiencies. You need practical experience rather than just reading theory and articles. Those of us who regularly handle sissies know exactly what these new plants are likely to need. They are going to need a regular organic feed during their growing cycle. It’s a rapid growth cycle so it needs to be rich in nutrients and appropriately hormone balanced to give the Sissy the best start in life. When potting out, I would suggest a base of pebbles for good drainage supporting a base layer of used tampons. I’d then sprinkle with bone meal to give the essential minerals for physical development. And then a thick covering with a slightly acidic ericaceous compost to match the pH of the female vagina.
As soon as germination occurs, I would water regularly with female urine. This will be important to avoid the maturing sissy developing over-masculine characteristics. The sissy develops rapidly over the four week growing period and needs to put on around sixty kilos of body mass. Remember most of that is water so that’s a least two litres a day. A good piss around the roots first thing each morning and last thing each night should suffice. Don’t be afraid of over-watering since the Sissy should suck it up. If you do feel the soil is too damp, just put down some additional bone meal.
Besides the compost, it will be how you treat your growing sissy that determines whether it blossoms into a sweet young man. I suggest regular handling. The sissy pod will benefit from regular polishing. All sissies appreciate the feminine touch so they should be handled and stroked on a daily basis during the growing cycle. Talk to your plant. Tell them about the fun they are going to have and how they are going to treated.
Kathy Glugsome : Thank you Daphne. Sound practical words there from an experienced gardener and sissy handler. And Mistress Brownthumb, please can we hear your views?
Mistress : I don’t know much about this new plant, but it does sound exciting. It normally takes at least three to six years to develop a late teenage male into full sissyhood with all the traits that both ladies and Mistresses, and men and Masters appreciate. To be able to grow a fully developed sissy from seed in just four weeks is a stunning achievement. It could certainly make my life easier, although training a new sissy is part of the thrill and fun. We will have to see how these promised new sissies continue to develop out of the pod.
I do agree with Daphne about exposing the Sissy-plant to the feminine as early as possible. Definitely a slightly acidic compost. If I was fortunate enough to be growing a Sissy-plant, I would use Pete…..
Prof. Alan : I’m sorry but I have to interrupt you there…..
Kathy Glugsome : Apologies Mistress Brownthumb. What’s the issue you’d like to raise, Professor?
Prof. Alan : The use of peat is unacceptable because of its high carbon and global warming impact. We need to stop using peat. And it’s going to be illegal from 2024.
Daphne : I know it’s not often that I agree with Alan, but I have to agree with him on this matter. We have to phase-out the use of peat and peat compost. As Alan says, it’s going to be withdrawn from the market in 2024 so we have to find alternatives.
I also think Mistress Brownthumb would be wrong to use peat since it’s likely to be far too acidic. The sissy will still need to have some masculine attributes to give him the testosterone for adequate libido.
Kathy Glugsome : I’m sorry Mistress Brownthumb, but you know we like a robust discussion here on GQT. It seems our regular panel members disagree with you about using peat.
Mistress : I entirely understand the experts concerns about peat, but I was trying to say I would use Pete, my current sissy. He produces high amounts of organic material especially after a couple of pints and a curry. He’s fully feminised as Petra and very obedient so I would have a very ready source of warm rich manure compost.
However, I would need a remote greenhouse at the end of the garden given the smells.
Prof. Alan : Depending on the size of your garden, I think you might need some extra security if you’re housing the Sissy-plant away from your house. Sissy seedlings and cultivars will be highly prized, and I regret to say there are some unscrupulous gardeners.
Kathy Glugsome : Sounds like a good point from Alan.
Daphne : (chuckles) Well this must be a record for a single episode of GQT. I do so agree with Alan on this. It would also make the watering far less convenient. I would want my Sissy-plant close by so I could nip out in the night and give my sissy a sprinkle.
Mistress : That’s a good point. I hadn’t really considered that angle. I’m so used to keeping my sissies chained in their baskets in the garage when they’re not providing a useful service overnight for me or my partner. Maybe using Pete would not be such a good idea in that circumstance.
But I do agree with Daphne about the need for regular watering. But make sure it’s his owner’s or his Mistress’s lady piss since this will help the Sissy to recognise the taste and build loyalty.
Daphne’s right about polishing too, but I’d go further. Polishing is an exciting experience not just for the Sissy but for the gardener too. Now ladies, let’s not get embarrassed here, it’s quite natural for us to get a little moist ourselves when we’re polishing a sissy. I suggest polishing the pod with some of your vaginal discharge. Not only do you want to get your sissy familiar with being caressed and polished but, like Daphne’s urine, it will familiarise the sissy with the scent and taste. It will ensure their immediate loyalty as soon as they are harvested. You may also want to spray the outside of the sissy’s cocoon with your regular perfume to enhance this process.
In addition, I suggest, as your approach harvest, you station a mattress or vaulting-horse near your sissy pot and wear latex on the day of hatching?
Kathy Glugsome : Why’s that Mistress?
Mistress : It’s so that as soon as you’ve got your sissy out of the pod, you can apply that final feminine touch that the young sissy needs. As soon as they’re exposed, the hatched sissy will need immediate warmth and reassurance, and most importantly love. By wearing latex, you can do this without even needing to shower them or clean off the slime from the pod. They’ll be nicely lubed and slippery. And then to make the sissy feel complete and make it very clear to them that they belong to you, either bend them over the vaulting-horse or get them down on all fours on the mattress. Put on your strapon and give them a good fuc………
Kathy Glugsome : I’m sorry we appear to have lost the connection with Mistress Brownthumb there. I don’t know: the internet these days … Anyway, thank you Mistress. I think we got a reasonably good understanding of your approach to Sissy-plant nurture.
Daphne : Can I just say, I entirely agree with Mistress Brownthumb. What a good idea about the perfume and the mattress! It is so sensible to make the sissy feel welcome and complete. I’ll certainly make sure I have my strapon to hand when I get my first Sissy-plant so that I can slip my rubber di….
Kathy Glugsome : What a shame! We seem to have lost Daphne as well. I’m afraid it’s down to you Alan to give any final thoughts.
Prof. Alan : Well, the ladies, including Daphne for once, have talked a lot of sense and provided some sound practical advice. However, I wouldn’t want our male listeners to feel left out. You should still be able to grow Sissy-plants but you will need those female hormone rich water supplies. I’m sure a lady friend or possibly even a mature sissy would oblige.
And after-shave can be used to replace perfume. It’s the tenderness and love that matters when nurturing a sissy. And their final advice is very sound. At hatching, the plant’s feeding tube will his detach itself from the sissy’s rear so he will be feeling rather empty. And despite what Daphne and Mistress Bedwood say, I’m sure any sissy would relish the real thing over plastic or rubber. So I would say to any Master Gardener, proceed as you or your partner would mean to continue, bend the sissy over and put them to the co……..
Kathy Glugsome : Oh dear! Now we seem to have lost Professor Gobble as well.
I do hope Aidan that we managed to answer your question.
And I’m sorry listeners, it seems that we have been unable to re-establish links with our panellists so I regret we’re going to have to draw this edition of Gardeners’ Question Time to a premature close. Such a shame since we had lots of questions to go through including ones about how to train apprentice male gardeners, and what to wear on rainy days in the garden and the hothouse.
So it only remains for me to thank Daphne Bedwood and Professor Alan Gobble, and our newcomer Mistress Brownthumb for their answers, and say that next week’s will be a combined broadcast from the National Arboretum and the Birmingham Fetish Bazaar. Till then, happy gardening.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Gosh! After all that talk about sissies, I feel I could do with a good licking out myself. Is this microphone off? ……
Radio Announcer : ‘Gardeners Question Time’ there. And to fill the gap before our next scheduled programme at three pm, a little music. We’ll start with ‘Nights in the Gardens of Spain’ by Manuel de Falla, and that will be followed by Ravel’s Bolero to give us a nice climax before the News. ‘Nights in the Gardens of Spain’:
🎶 🎶 🎶🎶 🎶🎶
For those who do not know, this refers to the long running BBC Radio show Gardeners question time.
XXX
