Happy Birthday to us

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It's our Birthday

and our dear friend

Rhys Jenner is on

the cover of our 

especial edition of

the S.S.'n'S magazine

but this is Rhys like

never before.

Like I say, It's a 

special edition and that

needs a special look

Hi Everyone

    So it was our birthday yesterday (the blog not mine) and we are now 15 years old.

http://smoothslicknshiny.blogspot.com/2011/03/to-start.html

 So I would like to take this opportunity not to brag about the blogs longevity but to thank you all for being so involved and active, I love this little community, its fun and caring and like the art I create , full of love. We need more of that these days.

  So thank you all so much for being there and for supporting me on Patreon, which has been a genuine lifesaver for me.

New art is on it's way for next week, but as it's a special day , lets spend it with two of my  favourite's who have been with us though our journey together.

  Biggest hugs to you all,

XXX

Andy

So lets open it up and read some classic interviews with new additions.

 With the imminent release of her new movie adaptation of Tolstoy’s classic Anna Karenina, we took the chance to have a cup of coffee with it’s stunning star, British Actress Keira Knightly. However this being SmoothSlicknShiny it was not her stellar movie success which intrigued us most, but her blossoming modelling career as the face of legendary perfume house Chanel’s Mademoiselle and of cause those photos featuring the first glimpses of a very different Keira Knightley from the English rose we all grew up with.

SmoothSlicknShiny:  How did this epic leap from English rose to fetish queen come about?
Keira Knighley:  Fetish Queen! Oh f**k no. no I have a long way to go before I can claim that crown.
S.S.S:  So this is an on going thing?
K.K : Now don’t start.
S.S.S: Just testing, please do go on.
K.K :  Well when Chanel asked me to do the third series of commercials for Mademoiselle I was delighted. The first two had been such fun to do, they are very creative team and so I said yes almost there and then.
S.S.S: Was the theme clear from the outset?
K.K: The first meeting in terms of theme made it clear to me this was not going to be like the others in tone and they explained the title of the campaign was to be “Unexpected”. Which when you know the perfume, as I do, you understand. Mademoiselle is not what you expect, it is unlike the other classic Chanel perfumes, so it was this they wanted to bring over. To take the brand into a new area. I thought fine, that’s great, no problem. Then they mentioned the idea of fetish and I thought, “OK, well why not”, after all people have a fetish for many thing, shoes, underwear, anything really so why not perfumes.The word Latex though did come as a bit of a surprise and I admit I had an “Oh F**k?” moment.
S.S.S: Bit of a shock then.
K.K: Well it was not a shock as such, I mean Latex is not a underground as it once was, it’s just we have never crossed paths before and latex and rubber clothing was very much alien to me. I had worn leather before and I have a PVC Mac in the closet, but Latex? “F**K.” and for a few days I did think about backing out. However I realised I was in very safe hands, with a team I knew and trusted and after a while and a few more meetings and seeing the designs they had in mind, I felt a lot more confident and then realised there was a character there I had never worked with before. That’s what I do, as an actress. It is fun to find the character and i thought this would be a challenge. So that was it.
S.S.S: How did you prepare, did you do homework as you might for a film role?

K.K:. Yes very much so. As I said I had no experience of Latex before as an actress or model and so I
made a secret visit to one of the designers I would be wearing in the shoot in London. I say secret because I did not really want photos of me going to a fetish designer suddenly appearing in the press. Not that I would have been ashamed, but you know. I can imagine the phone calls from the family now. Anyway I had seen House of Harlots work modelled by British model Kelly Brook a few months earlier and thought there would be a good place to start and after two or three hours of talc and wriggling in and out of some very beautiful dresses and outfits i came to two conclusions. Firstly unlike me, Kelly has they perfect figure for latex and secondly and more importantly I quite liked it.
S.S.S: The words all fetish fans have been longing to hear.



K.K: Well maybe not liked, sorry folks, more, well, the feeling of Latex was not what I had imagined. I thought F**k this will be sticky and itchy and hot and well not much fun. So I was wrong there and that is why we do our homework. Yes it was tightly constrictive, yet I was surprised it allowed total freedom of movement, even in such things a good knee length skirt, yes you can feel the material fighting you, but it never impeded your movements. The other thing I never imagined and I do admit found rather sexy was  the sound, that popping, rustle, like nothing else.
S.S.S: It speaks to you.
K.K: Yes that’s right and nothing else is quite like it I that respect.
S.S.S: So a far more pleasurable experience than you had expected.
K.K.K:  PAUSE…..Yes, I would say it was, but what was more important and delightful was somewhere in all that heat and talc I found the character, fully formed. Elegant, cool, strong and dark, an independent minded woman who was happy to go her own way and show it And what did my friends at Chanel say?….. “You have described the perfect Chanel Mademoiselle ”. So F**k it, I was in.
S.S.S: How was the shoot?

K.K: In a word hot, In two words F**king hot. The trial run with House of Harlot was nothing to

getting under the studio lights in those outfits. I mean F**k me I was sweating like a horse. The outfit we shot in the white tiled room was so hot I could feel the sweat tricking into some very naughty. I think I was under the lights for 2 hours and in the outfit for maybe a hour before with dressing and polishing. Polishing there is the weirdest part of all, you wriggle your way in to these outfits, get them all lined up and comfy and then someone takes another 20minutes or so spraying you with polish and buffing you  up and can I ask you a question. Why can’t they just polish the parts the camera sees?
S.S.S: It is the way of it, any unpolished Latex would almost be a sin.
K.K: I get that and don’t get me wrong the effect was amazing, but f**k me do we have to polish every Millimetre. I mean my T*TS are small so do we really need to take so long.
S.S.S: Not fun then
K.K: Oh don’t get me wrong I had no problem with it from the hands on element. I have worked with Carla before so there was no problem with her getting up close, but f**K me I was just getting hotter and hotter. “How’s it going Keira?”    “Oh no worries Adam, Just having my A**s polished….again”.
S.S.S: Now I think for our readers I should say you are saying this with a very wide smile.
K.K: Oh yes, don’t get me wrong the shoot was a total laugh, especially when the room is still, you are ready to go, game face on and then with the faintest of movements your dress “Farts”. No it was a very nice experience.
S.S.S: You shot one image on the streets of London. Do tell us how that worked.

K.K: Oh that was in the House of Harlot business suit. We could have done it in the studio and matted the image over the background but Adam wanted it “live”. So it was a few weeks after the Paris shoot

we met back at HARLOT, but the problem is, Adam wanted a distinct London look, everyday, normal London, rain, bus, all that. So we got the rain no problem, a basic London street no problem, a London Bus…..Oh F**k. The bus route did not run past the shop so we could not just nip out into the street and shoot and nip back in. We had to go to the end of the road. So we got the bus timetable, right one very 5 minutes no worries. Got everything ready, which means me and when we got a call from Louise on the corner we would rush out to the end of the road, “snap snap” back in. Call comes “Go Go”, we all come out of the shop, me freshly polished, with a Mac covering the dress and run to the end of the road, just as a bus passes. S**T!. Do we go back?, do we stay?. You can’t trust the London timetable so we just waited……and waited….and waited. Then when one finally came we slipped the Mac off here we go…… and the Bus stops just short of us.
S.S.S: So there is Oscar nominated actress Keira Knightley standing on a damp street, wearing House of Harlot Latex, with a bus full of passengers looking down at you.
K.K: Not entirely, thanks to the umbrella I was able to hide a little. I mean with cameras everywhere these days that would have come out for sure. But it was fine in the end and I think it is one of my favourites.
S.S.S: Favourites. Which outfit?
K.K: Um, I liked the Harlot Business suit and the blue dress. Really classic and stylish.
S.S.S: Disliked?
K.K:  Oh that F**king red catsuit, to hot, to tight to F**king everything. Never ever again, there were pools of sweat dripping off me. I think I wore that for almost 5 hours because there was a problem with the lights. No not a favourite
S.S.S: Finally I believe you took something home?
K.K: Don’t get carried away now. Yes I did I have the heels from the white room shoot and the red latex Jacket from Polymorphe. Which I think will get a lot of wear.
S.S.S: And the skirt?
K.K: That would be telling.

But the smile on her face tells you all you need to know.

So with her Oscar tipped performance in Anna Karenina and a very provocative campaign for Chanel coming up I think we will be seeing much more of the gorgeous, if potty mouthed, Keira Knightley for years to come.
 Now where is my bus timetable?

XXXX
Andy

And now Emma

Hi Everyone,
   Please allow me a little indulgence as I set the scene.

 Smoked glass, gleaming chrome and elegant gold details. The warm atmosphere filled with the aroma of warm rubber. Whilst from every direction the click click of killer heels beat out their sensual tattoo on the polished black marble floor. Welcome to the offices of SmoothSlicknShiny, Another day at the heartbeat of sissy and latex fantasy had nearly reached an end, when in the other office, I can hear voices raised above the hush the of the usual sensual whisper. I look up, activate the auto de-smoking on my executive offices glass and stop dead. Now I have had many astonishing adventures from my time as a Maid, to experiencing a Vacbed, from being a very naked and very embarrassed party table

decoration (Bottoms up, hands off please) to being one "Yes" away from stepping full-time into a new life as a young woman, I have had a few "Dear Diary" moments, but now, right now I was looking at something I never imagined seeing in the flesh.
  With her dark hair, slicked back to highlight those famous and perfectly feminine features, dramatic eyes,glossed red lips and high polished cheekbones,

British Actress and modern style icon Emma Watson, in skintight blue Latex jeans and ruffled semi-transparent black Latex blouse is posing with cool elegance for our staffs cameras. For a long moment I am spellbound by both the glow of her casual charm and by just how petite she would be if it were not for the 6" black Patent heels. However I am as weak as anyone for a photo and like
everyone else I can't resist just one for a personal keepsake. After a few moments our chief roving reporter Amanda Keira appears and greets our guest with a kiss and hug of an old friend, words are exchanged, a clear compliment on Emmas style  brings a wide warm smile to the young beauties face 

and I can't help but notice the          similarities between Emma and Amanda K, both possess that Petite boyish frame, slim waist and long elegant legs and the similarities are even more so today as Amanda K's short  feminine Pixie crop is a perfect mirror of Emmas slicked back style. I am still gazing at our guest when they both turn and Amanda K, points the way to my office. Moments later I have the gorgeous Emma Watson warm hand in mine. My compliment on her stunning look is accepted with a cute angling of the head and  dazzling smile and I am in love..........
   Ladies and gentlemen This is the day we here at S.S.n.S  have been looking forward to. The first sit down interview with the woman at the heart of one of the nations biggest mysteries The Garmentia Latexium curse, Emma Watson. 

Emma Watson

The Latexium Interviews

The world has followed her from budding 7 year old wizard, through her teens as she blossomed into one of the worlds most recognisable and as far as we here a Smoothslicknshiny are concerned, most beautiful women in the world. But in the past few years Actress Emma Watson, has been in the public eye for a very different and bizarre reason. A curse spoken in jest by a colleague has condemned the young Brit to the fate of having some or all of many outfits she wears transforming into polished smooth and slick Latex rubber. It is a phenomena we here at Smooth Slick

N  Shiny have followed closely and now for the first time we are delighted and proud to welcome  the gorgeous Actress, Model, Style Icon and activist Emma Watson to our offices to finally lay to rest some of the mystery and rumours surrounding this very pubic embarrassment.

Amanda Keira….Hello Emma

Emma Watson……..Gosh what a welcome, thank you thank you so much, that is very kind, Wow and thank you for having me here. What a wild place.

A.K……It is a little full on round here I grant you, I hope everyone has been behaving themselves.

E.W…… Everyone has been very kind thank you. I took a quick tour and now I have my Tea and biscuit I am ready to go

A.K …. So Lets start with a straight question. As you probably are aware, we here at S.S.n.S think you never look short of amazing in Latex . But, Emma Watson, How is it for you?

E.W……(Breaking into a wide and embarrassed smile) Well in a word, Hot. Hot and very sticky and really whenever I see photos of myself in one of these Latex outfits, I can’t help but cringe. I mean it’s completely embarrassing. I just look wrong. Some people can look amazing in it. My friend and your name sake Keira Knightley did a campaign for Chanel a few years back, which featured some Latex outfits

and she looked amazing and I always think Kelly Brook looks great and recently Kylie Minogue did a tour with Latex costumes and she looked fabulous, but when I see myself…. I just look….funny. Even this outfit. It may, by the curses standard, be quite conservative but….but it is just feels so wrong. I mean this morning it was a black silk blouse and simple Blue Denim Jeans, now though it is still black over blue, it is wrong.

A.K…So the curse simply turned the outfit you put on this morning into Latex.

E.W….It Added a few ruffles here and there and pretty much shrunk the Jeans by a size, but yes more or less a straight swap.

A.K….. Might I take this opportunity to bring up a question from one of our readers. Sorry for being quick in here but, what effect does the curse have regarding Underwear.

E.W….. Oh my gosh, um. Well it is always affected. Sometimes changed and sometimes……. Lets say de-constructed.

A.K….You mean it …..

E.W……Erases it yes and regarding this outfit for example? I was wearing underwear this morning. However I think, by the rather sticky feel of it…., I am not wearing underwear anymore.

A.K…. I am sure there is a follow up question to that but right now it has slipped my mind.

E.W…... (With a wide brilliant smile) Next Question.

A.K…… You see I was going to be all cool and snappy and ask such deep questions.

E.W…. Please just ask.

A.K…… You have worn Latex to some pretty high profile events. Some people would say  there must be some willingness on your part to comply with the curse or else Why does she  not just change her outfit.

E.W…. Well I can assure you the only compliance I give to the curse is a grudging one. I would rather it created “wearable” outfits than risk its developing a more extreme choice of fetish style. But as for the point about removing it, I could and did for a few weeks just strip the Latex and put on another outfit, however  this would also become affected and usually in less conservative fashion. It also raised the risk of the event taking place whilst in a public place, a photocall, press conference, red carpet and I would again rather the curse did its thing in private, so if there ever was an outfit too outrageous to wear, I could just hide away.

A.K…. So you don’t bother removing a Latex outfit now, You just accept it.

E.W…… Oh no, not accept at all, but the simple reason is I can’t. For example, this outfit, believe me if I could I would at least open a few button, but you see where when I put my blouse and Jeans on everything was normal, the moment the curse took over the buttons all became fake, as did the belt and the Pants Zipper. I can’t remove it. It has sealed me inside and that is what happens with very much all the outfits now, it fashions some form of clasp or closing which can not be opened until it deems fit and that is why at times I may appear to some, a willing fetishist.

A.K…… But you are not affected at every moment. Again a readers question. What about at home, away from the spotlight.

E.W…. Very much the same, I am always wearing some form of Latex, be it outerwear or underwear. As you have reported before I can appease the curse by wearing self bought Latex, such as Panties, but that is not always a guarantee of protection. The only real way to halt the curse is by wearing Leather, so my Leather collection is quite large.
A.K...... What a thought.........but what about at night
E.W..... Again the curse will transform anything I wear.
A.K..... If I may. There was a myth about your bed linen being transformed. True or false?
E.W...... True in fact. Actually it was quite scary .Um...I had gone to bed, kind of naked, hoping nothing would happen and awoke with the sheets and pillows tightening down about me, until I could not really move much. 
A.K..... Like mummifying
E.W......Not really. It turned out the top sheet and the bottom one had melted into one, so I was in this kind of weird Latex envelope with my arms trapped inside and just my head poking out resting on a Latex pillow. After that I just let the curse do its thing. I can put up with a Latex nightdress better than a full Latex bed.

Here is pert two of the converstaion, this part was taken from an interview we at S.S.nS did with Emma some months later.

S.S.n.S…Let me ask you a straight question. Who cast the spell?

E.W…….Straight answer……Jo

S.S.n.S….You mean as  in J.K? However did that happen?

E.W…….. I must say she has been really upset over it and has really been very helpful in trying to reverse it, coming up with all kinds of strange variations. It was a total accident, we were sitting on set and in the newspaper was a photo of Lady Gaga in this outrageous latex outfit and we were joking about how she got into it and I said Magic and Jo said…. Well you can guess. It was as simple and as stupid as that, those words and a simple pat on my knee.

S.S.n.S…. Did it take effect straight away?

Emma Watson appears on the "Today show" in Latex dress

E.W….. Not I think for a few months, I had been noticing a faint rubbery smell in the air for a while, but the first manifestation came during the first promo work. I think it was for the Today show in New York. That was a real shock. I could not believe what was happening, It was thirty Minutes before I was due on air. I was in the car going from the hotel and suddenly, as I have said, smelt this rubbery smell and then, the dress I was wearing just, well, turned into rubber. It shrank and tightened and I remember saying to Claire my aid something was wrong, she looked, I think we both screamed and well, now we are minutes away from national U.S TV. What do I do?

S.S.n.S…..Cause the internet to melt for one

E.W…..Did I cause that?

S.S.n.s….Totally. The pics of you, looking cool calm and stunning raced around the world, Here was Emma Watson, Hermione Grainger, on national America TV casually wearing a skintight Latex rubber dress, Latex rubber for god sake. I think the reason the world did not go insane about it was that, with your new Hair it was seen as a signal that you were not Hermione and that this was the real Emma Watson, take it or leave it. I think the world applauded you.

E.W….. The curse from that respect has helped me to step away, I just wish it had been a little less…..sudden.

 S.S.n.S…You speak as if it was deliberate. Do you think the curse is sentient, do you believe it knows what it is doing?

E.W…..Yes, I believe so. It is not some wildly random thing, it is totally calculating. It understands my moods and feeling and by it’s actions can exert a control over me.

S.S.n.S…..How so?

E.W…… At it’s most basic. If I relax and accept its will  if you were, It creates something in keeping with that mood, a subtle or a more modest transformation. Where as if I am upset or petulant the curse will react with a more embarrassing style.

Emma Watson in what she describes as a modest skintight Latex sheath dress

S.S.n.S….It is crazy to think that Latex can be modest. However we in the circle understand that it really can be. I especially recall the pewter ….

E.W….. Sheath dress, I wore to the Bafta awards, yes. That was, at first, a classic black Chanel, modest and simple and what it became was still modest and simple, yet now skintight and Latex. I must admit I did freak out a little with that dress, It was astonishingly tight and very very hot and I did so want to get it off, but there was no seam, no clasp, nothing, It was on me and I was in it and that was that. I thought about pulling out but it was an important year with Harry Potter ending and Jo receiving a special award so I desperately wanted to go. I remember turning in the mirror a dozen times, fearing how unforgivingly tight it was and we were back to the underwear issue again, but then I realised it was fine, unorthodox but totally modest and revealed nothing. It was only an hour after the event, that Claire noticed a tiny Zipper appear at the back of the neck and off it came without a fight. Yes the curse is very much a living, thinking thing.

   It is also a very embarrassing thing, for at that moment our poised ans polished guest lets out a gasp, stifled by her hands covering her mouth. The reason for this and the subsequent collapse into giggles? A crossing of her legs, a shift in her seat and the air, warm and moist beneath the Latex escapes in a classic Latex Fart.

E.W…. Oh my gosh that was so not me, rather it was but you know, I am so sorry. I’ve been in these Pants now for a few hours and things are getting a little sticky in there. Where were we? Well infact this is a good example, I was really happy to come here today, so the curse, merely transformed what I was wearing, blue jeans and black blouse, Blue Latex Jeans, Black Latex Blouse. Where as if I had been petulant about it it might have created something embarrassingly short or fetishy.

S.S.n.S….Embarrassingly short. That brings us to the picture.

E.W…. Aw my Gosh. No, I have never seen that before. Oh my Goodness that is tiny. Am I inside that dress trying to get out or outside trying to get in.
S.S..n.S.... We believe this is the only shot of you in this dress, it was taken rather quickly but  it is quiet a stunning image.

Emmas' total embarrassment was saved by some very fortunate lighting

E.W..... Thank you, I think. My goodness. Well it illustrates what I mean about my mood and how it effects the curse. I loved the dress I had chosen for that evening, so when the curse decided to mess with it I was rather annoyed and to be honest threw quite a hissy fit.Claire my long suffering PA told me to calm down and that we had an alternate dress, but I was really upset and the more upset I got the tighter and shorter the dress got.
S.S.n.S.... So the original was more modest?
E.W..... Very much so, a lot longer and a more solid bronze colour, Quite a nice dress if it had not been made of Latex rubber. but like I have said, I knew any alternate dress would be effected too, so I just said right, OK if that is what it wants lets give it and just stomped out in front of the cameras, hands on hips, without introduction, sort of "Well here I am then" and caught everyone but you by surprise.
S.S.n.S ......Hard to imagine Emma Watson stomping anywhere, but I see what you mean by it effecting the dress.
E.W..... From the moment I left Claire, to stepping out, the dress had gone up even more and it was not until I saw the reflection in one of the doors that I realised it had taken on that smoky transparency and of cause no underwear. So the moment I felt that cool air down there I was gone like a shot and back away from the cameras.That was apart from yours of cause.
S.S.n.S..... An embarrassing lesson
E.W...... Very, but it has in a way it has taught me to respect the curse and understand its' actions.

Emma for LANCOME, proving the curse has it's blessings

Thanks to Emma for her charm , warmth and generous time.

XXXX

Classic Christeen

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On Patreon Today

It's the last Friday

of the month which 

means it's time

for the latest page of

our Patreon exclusive

calendar.

This time though you

don't just have a choice 

of 2, but a choice of 4

different images to 

accompany you through

April

Hi Everyone

  So a new piece of Andy and Aunt Jane art has been completed, I have gained control over this new version of paintshop, I don't like it but we will see how e get on together.

 So our dear friend Miss Kimmi has once again flicked through her archive and delivered 4 stunning classic Christeen  images for us to enjoy.

Heck I don't recall some of these, which is why I am so loving this.

Thank Miss Kimmi and if anyone else would like to drop me their faves, I know Kimmi would temporarily  step aside.

 Meantime, here we go

XXX

Andy

3/25/26- It’s baseball Opening Day 2026! Well, Opening Night at Oracle Park in San Francisco, and sure enough Chris is here to throw out the ceremonial first pitch as a Miss.

The players are certain that Chris has some new curves, as will be confirmed in the ladies room.

Chris even ran to first after swinging the bat, where she was just out by an eyelash.

Now who will escort our pretty little Miss home? The Yankees won 7-0. Will Chris also score?

This classic Christeen debuted on June 30, 2017 right here on Andy's wonderful site. I first posted this as a Daily Chris on July 4 in honor of the USA Independence Day.

5/28/16- 823- Ahh, the elusive Level 3. Does Chris even know the ultimate completion of Level 3? Do we? Here we see an incredibly feminine and pretty Chris (dancing?) with a guy. Debuted on Carole Jean's Petticoat Punishment Art site around 2013.

My Favourite today

12/9/22 - Never a Boy Again - Gorgeous makeup, sparkling earrings and pretty hair work magic in transforming an ordinary boy into such a lovely girl. No one will think twice when they refer to Chris as Miss. Don't be shocked when the boys flock. Debuted 12/6/22 on Christeen's own Pinterest page, which she maintained for about three years.

April 2016 PDQ- 956- 4/23/16 A stunning and beautiful Chris. After mastering feminine bedroom skills as a Miss, Chris will be impossible to resist.  This is from Petticoat Discipline Quarterly.

Fun on Wednesday

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Hi Everyone

  So lets settle in for a fun Wednesday and we have another treaty from our dear friend Skinnie Stallion ,Yes two in one week! .

We also have lots of other fun to enjoy so sit back, Lee put that coffee on, and enjoy.

XX

Andy

Ok Lets start  catch up with what's happening on Mars, with these amazing images from our friend Kitka.

So you have all seen Andy and Aunt Jane checking out of the hotel in this image

https://smoothslicknshiny.blogspot.com/2026/03/new-art-checking-out.html

But we have all wondered where would they go next, well our friend Amber has tracked them down with these amazing images from Switzerland 

I've done quite a bit of skiing  and I'd take on any black run if I were following them in those outfits

Luck find. 

I like a bit of charity shopping and came across these two copies of classic Cadet Holden books. One is a little battered but that only means its been read over and over.

It think this one is from the 80s

I also found this in an old magazine rack, I don't know if many of you recall the launch of our magazine, pity it never really took off, It was not so well funded, despite us landing blog Legend Keira Knightley as our cover star.

Fortunately I still have a pristine cover in my records 

And now, Over to Skinnie Stallion

For Charity

By

Skinnie Stallion

1. Temptation

He had to remind himself that it was his own fault.   It was him who’d gone out in the back garden to have a kick around when his Aunt had been out.   Him who’d been spotted by the neighbours retrieving his ball after climbing over the fence.   Him who’d cracked one of the greenhouse windows with another stray kick.   It had been nice to put on his kit again but he really was out of practice and disappointing to find how badly his skills had deteriorated since living with Auntie.

His big mistake had been not telling Jane as soon she’d got home.   She’d seen the cracked glass but at first discounted it as wear and tear.   Then she’d chatted to the neighbours about the young man they’d seen playing in her garden.   She’d put two and two together and this was the price.

Truth be told, Jane had always intended to get rid of his old clothes at some point but his misdemeanour provided the perfect opportunity.  The time had come.   He needed to put away boyish things.   “You should have told me,” she barked.   She enjoyed watching him snivel and go all supplicant.   She could still twist him round her little finger like she always had.

“Please Auntie,” he pleaded, “I am sorry, really I am.  I promise never to do it again. If you give away all my clothes, what will I wear during the week?”  

“The same as you wear for me at the weekends. Heels and frills like a good sissy boy should wear, then maybe you will act like one, instead of a naughty young man who can't resist his old clothes. It's your own fault.  You were warned,” Jane said sternly.

“Please I promise. I won't.....oh no! No!”   He spotted his Aunt grabbing another item from the shelves.   “Please not my football boots,” he implored.   “Please can't I just keep those?”

“Don't worry, Child,” said Jane, trying to placate him, “I shall buy you new boots: ones with locking zippers that run all the way up to the top of your thighs.”

Andy didn’t know whether to protest more or squirm with delight.   He’d always fancied a pair of thigh boots.   He wondered what heel height his Aunt would choose for them.   He hoped that they’d be high and with a platform sole.   Not only did he want to be a bit taller to put him on more of a level with his Aunt, but sometimes he fantasised about playing the dominatrix even though he knew that some things could never be.  Still football boots for thigh boots seemed a good trade.   Silently he cursed that he never seemed able to say ‘no’ to his Aunt.  Why did she have look so damn ….. so damn…. so damn ….. sexy?  Y es, sexy.  It was the only word he could think of.  So damn sexy.   And her black pencil latex skirt coupled with Louboutin 120s definitely wasn’t helping. 

“Will they be nice boots, Auntie?”

“Of course, darling,” Jane confirmed.   ‘Oh he is just so very sweet,’ she thought to herself, ‘I could just cuddle him up’.    Maybe she didn’t need to bother with the padlocks on those boots after all,  but it would add to the  fun having him all helpless and dependent on her to get out of them.   If he was good, he’d get more than a cuddle tonight.  He did look so nice in his sissymaid’s uniform.

2. The Charity Shop

Andy scowled as they entered the shop.  No matter what  he’d tried and offered her last night, Jane had remained resolute and firm.   Very firm.  She really was going to do what she had threatened, and now she had a tight grip on the box.   The box of his things.  His clothes.  His jumpers.  His trousers.  It wasn’t as if he could grab the box and run away with it.   Where would he go?  He could hardly run to the police.  Not wearing a latex bolero jacket and mini-skirt.  A pink latex bolero jacket and pink latex mini-skirt.  

Not that he could run, not in pink platform heels.  He knew his Aunt was having fun.   Finally he’d got the platform heels that he’d craved and she’d insisted that he wore them today.  Today of all days.   She said that she wanted him to look good at interview so platform heels it was.  And pink latex.  And though he’d combed and tidied his chestnut red hair that morning, she’d had him fitted at her salon with a formal blonde wig with a pink bow.   Now he just looked silly.   People would laugh at him at the interview.  It didn’t help when Jane reassured him it was only an interview for a Saturday Girl.   If he was going to be working on Saturdays, he’d never get to football practice or Saturday games, not even to spectate.  He’d never be able to watch his friend William play.

 The assistant took the box gratefully from Jane.   “This is marvellous, thank you.  We get so few boys clothes donated these days.”

“Not at all,” replied Jane, “it's our pleasure. My nephew won't be needing them anymore, will you Andy?”

“No Auntie,” said the pretty girl in pink.   The assistant was puzzled.   She must have misheard.   The clothes must belong to the girl’s brother.  The girl looked a bit on edge and rather sad.   Such a shame.   She was such a pretty thing and Andie was a nice name for a girl.   The assistant mulled it over.  There  had been Andie MacDowell on ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ and didn’t Molly Ringwald play a girl named Andie in ‘Pretty in Pink’?   That might explain while this Andie was wearing pink: she certainly looked very pretty and elegant, and such gorgeous blonde hair.  Andie really was nice looking young girl.

"Thank you Lady Jane. It's always lovely to receive new items and have the support of local residents.  And thank you for ensuring everything is clean and laundered: it makes our life much easier.  I'll get these out on the Men's racks right away.  I guess it must be sad if your nephew's moved away, but it must be lovely having your niece to stay instead. Now, a couple of questions for you: Would you like to sign-up for Gift Aid? It makes such a difference. The Charity makes an extra 25p on every pound we sell, and you can claim it on your Tax Return too so we both benefit.” 

"Why certainly?" Jane gave Andy's hand a little squeeze. The poor lamb looked so downcast at his items being donated to Charity. 

"And would your niece be interested in a Saturday job in the shop? We're always looking for new volunteer helpers." 

"I'm sorry he can't, though that is a good idea. Any other time I'd have said 'Yes', but I've already arranged to take him along to Bergman and Knightley on Ship Street.   I've applied for him to be one of their Saturday Girls and they're giving him a mini-interview later this morning. Isn't that right, Andy?" 

"Yes, Auntie," agreed a crestfallen Andy, sad to see his first batch of clothes disappearing. He knew his football kit would be next. That's if Jane didn't burn it like she'd threatened. Now he wouldn't even get the chance of buying his clothes back when Jane wasn't around to stop him. 

"I think he's pretty enough for B&K. Don't you?" 

"Er, yes," said the volunteer, still puzzling over Lady Jane's use of 'he'. He? HE????!   Was that really a boy? 

"See Andy. I told you. Now come along, we need to be at Bergmans for ten-thirty. Goodbye. We may be back with some more items in a few days," said Jane starting to sweep out of the shop with her niece in tow. 

"Thank you Lady Jane. Thank you er... Andy," said the volunteer as the door clanged. She looked at the box: 'Andy's jumpers trousers' was written on the side. She looked again at the pretty girl in pink latex and heels. Andy? He? Surely not that pretty girl?

3. Guests

Reality was slowly sinking in.   His Aunt really had done what she’d threatened.   He had no clothes.   Well, no clothes that he could wear.   His boy clothes had gone.   All that was left on the racks in his bedroom were dresses.  His drawers now contained lingerie and stockings. His shoe racks were adorned with pairs of heels, many of them new.   Lingerie and shoes he’d never seen before.    They’d appeared while he was in the shower.   Jane must have been planning this for some time.   His wardrobe now consisted of just a couple of maid’s dresses in black and pink, and the pink outfit that he’d worn yesterday.    

So this was to be his life: the first day of the rest of his life.   And Jane had guests coming round.  He couldn’t escape.   He really did have nothing to wear except his dresses.   That was how he was going to have to present himself to Jane’s friends this afternoon.   He didn’t know which would be better:  being presented as her girlfriend or as her maid.   He hoped for the former but expected the latter.   He was only her girlfriend in private or in the bedroom.  The last two nights had more than confirmed that.  They’d been magical.

Jane hands him a satin camisole saying, “I don’t expect you to wear bras just yet.”  

“Please Aunt Jane, do I have to today?” he implores.   “It feels funny.”

“Oh sweetheart, of course you do,” she reminds him, as if reminding were necessary, “remember we sent all your clothes to Charity, didn’t we?”   She strokes his face and she can see him stiffening as he holds the silky softness of the camisole against his chest.    “Now don’t worry darling, you are just a little nervous about this afternoon, that’s all.”

“Yes, a bit nervous.”

“There’s nothing to worry about.   I’ve just invited a few of my friends round.   And that Vicar.”

“The Vicar!”

 “Yes, our new Vicar.   He’s bringing that boy William you said was a friend of yours. Apparently he  wants to get into the Village Cricket Team next season.   You’ll have so much to talk about.”

“Oh, no!”  From dreading this afternoon, Jane could see Andy was now terrified.   Any stiffness had subsided and he was quivering.   That William clearly meant more to him than he'd been letting on.