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Saturday girl
by
Skinnie Stallion
“Andrew! Andrew!” What now? He was busy. He sat on a chair in the kitchen and finished pulling on his trainers. “The postman’s coming up the path. Open the door, darling, he should have a parcel for me.”
“OK, Auntie,” he called and ran to the front door, opening it just as the doorbell rang. “Oh, hello.”
“Hello, Master Andrew. Haven’t seen you here in a while. Guess your Lady Fullerton-Jones is here for a while given the mail re-direct.”
“Yeah, well, Auntie thought it better if we were in town rather than at the Hall. I’m staying with her over the summer. My parents are off on a cruise, and then breaking the voyage for a few weeks to stay with relatives.”
“Lucky them. Match today or just a kickabout?” asked the postie observing his soccer strip.
“A practice, not a match. Last one before the summer break. There’s no games over the summer, but coach wants us to stay fit and be ready for next season so may have some Saturday kickabouts with the lads.”
“Quite right too.” The postman peeled off some letters wrapped in a rubber band and pulled a small parcel from his sack. I’ve got a few things here for your Aunt. Let me see: Fullerton-Jones… This one needs to be signed for. Can you do the honours?”
“Sure.” The postman peered at a hand-held terminal for a few seconds, pressed some keys, then thrust it towards Andy. “I can never do this,” he said as he drew a shaky ‘A Watson’ with his finger on the small screen.
“Don’t worry, no-one can,” laughed the postman, handing the letters and parcel to Andy. “Enjoy your practice Give my regards to your Aunt.”
“Thanks. Will do,” said Andy.
As he closed the front door, he found his Aunt behind him in the hall. “Leave the parcel on the stairs, Andrew, and I’ll go through the post in the kitchen before I take you to practice.”
“OK, Auntie,” he said, handing the letters to his Aunt. He followed her into the kitchen, admiring the way she walked on her narrow stilettos and the snakelike wiggle of her hips. He was already conscious of the impression that she was likely to make on his colleagues at the practice ground in her tight necked black satin blouse with ruched sleeves and shoulder pads, and knee-length black PVC pencil skirt. And naturally she’d finished with a touch of aristocratic elegance: an almost choker-like short string of pearls round her neck accentuating the tight neck of her blouse. How could she do this to him? The guys would rib him remorselessly. Dressed in black like that, perhaps he could say she was going to a funeral? She’d be able to make anyone rise from the dead in that outfit; she certainly had that effect on him. She always did.
Jane flipped through the envelopes. “Bill. Bill. Junk. Charity. Junk. Oh, what’s this. Aah! I’ve been waiting for this.” She slipped a nail underneath the flap of the envelope and unfolded the letter. There were several pages. “Yes!” she exclaimed triumphantly, “it’s from Bergman and Knightley.”
“Who?”
“Oh, you know, the Department store at the top of The Lanes.”
“The one with the shiny dresses in the window we saw?”
“Yes, that’s the one. I thought you’d have spotted it with your eye for fashion.” He had. He’d spent quite a bit of time with his nose pressed against the glass staring at the display mannequins.
“So why are they writing to you?”
“Well, you know we talked about you getting a little job over the summer.”
“Yes, Auntie.”
“Well I made some enquiries with the job agency who said Bergman’s had some opportunities, so I gave them a call and popped in. They seemed nice people” Jane put down the envelopes and fanned the pages of the letter in her hand. “And there’s a form for you to complete.”
“So what’s the job. Shelf stacking? Accounts clerk?”
“No.”
“Warehouseman? Tea boy?”
“No. I talked to them and they’re looking for a Saturday Girl.”
“A what!?”
“A Saturday Girl. I used to work as a Saturday Girl when I was your age. It gave me some spending money.” She handed him the form. “Let me just read the letter darling. Listen honey…..”
“A Saturday girl? SATURDAY GIRL!!!” moaned Andy.
Jane started to read the letter aloud:
“ ‘We are delighted to offer Andrew the position of Saturday girl in our store. We found your application to fit with our needs and requirements and recruitment structure.’
Oh this is perfect Andy, they want you for the whole 6 weeks of summer, that will give you something to do when there is no football,
‘We will provide full training and compliance with all regulations.’
Blah Blah Blah
‘Full uniform will be provided and heels no less than 4 inches in height will be required at all times.’
Well that’s not a problem.
‘Your request for specialist variants on our uniform policy have been agreed and appropriate uniforms will be sent to you for approval and fitting.’
Oh that’s wonderful that means you will be wearing Latex in the store. I was a little worried they would not agree to it, but that is perfect.
‘Our heads of department agree Andrew would be an exceptional addition to our store family and would like to offer him a position within our cosmetics department.’
And they want you on the cosmetics counter! Oh my God that's wonderful! Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness, this is just…when I was a Saturday girl I never got to be on the cosmetics counter, they were always the most exotic and beautiful…... Oh God! I am so proud of you Andy. They say you will need to be in store an hour and a half early to be made up each day by their cosmetics expert and if requested will be required to act as a model for in-house and online demonstrations. That means you will be on those big screens when they do demonstrations.
‘We include formal agreement contract along with rights agreements for use of images in both in store and online promotions .’
Oh, this is going to be so much fun.”
“Saturday Girl?????” He stared at the form dumbfounded.
“Yes, darling, a Saturday Girl.”
“But haven’t you spotted that there’s a bit of problem here, Auntie?”
“What’s that darling?”
“You may have noticed that I’m a boy and they’re looking for a Saturday Girl.”
“Oh, I went through all that with them when I talked to Bergman & Knightley. I showed them a photo of you and they seemed very keen. They particularly want young men. Nice looking young men. They say they’re far easier to manage than young girls and more reliable.”
“And what’s this about latex?”
“Oh, that was my addition. I know you’ve always admired my leather pants and dresses. Seeing the stock at Bergman & Knightley got me thinking that maybe I should add some latex to my wardrobe. It seemed sensible if I could see how it looked on you first.”
“And heels? I can’t wear heels in public.”
“Why ever not? You’re quite happy to wear them when you’re at Fullerton Hall. Make-up too.”
“That’s different.”
“No it’s not.”
“But someone might recognise me,” pleaded Andy.
“A pretty Saturday Girl? I think not. They’ll what they expect to see.”
“But Auntie, I can’t…”
“Andrew, you can and will. Where have you got to with your job hunting?” Andy looked shamefaced. He hadn’t even tried except for asking at the carwash and the garage. “Nowhere. You’ve always said you want to get into retail and use your design talents. This is a great opportunity. Relevant work experience always looks good on a CV.”
“Yes, Auntie.” He knew better than to argue with his Aunt when she addressed him as Andrew.
“Now honey, we need to move or you’re going to be late for football practice. I was thinking of staying to watch. When we get back, we can complete your form and drop it in at Bergman & Knightley after lunch. Won’t that be good. It’ll show how keen you are. Maybe they’ll show you round?”
“Yes, Auntie.” It wasn’t Jane who was going to be attending a funeral. It looked like he was on his way to his own.
Bergman & Knightley
Ship Street
The Lanes
Brighton
BN1 1AB
Our ref: B&KBrighton_180712_JF-J1 12 July 2018
Dear Lady Fullerton-Jones,
JOB OFFER : SATURDAY GIRL – Andrew Watson
Thank you for visiting our store earlier this week and submitting a job application for your nephew, Andrew Watson.
After careful consideration, we are delighted to offer Andrew the position of Saturday Girl in our new store. We found your application to fit with our needs and requirements and recruitment structure.
This letter (the “Assignment Offer Letter”) confirms the details of Andrew’s assignment and provides you with information that we hope you find helpful. Enclosed is a copy of Bergman & Knightley’s standard terms and conditions for this type of assignment (“Standard Terms and conditions for Temporary Work”). As required by the Employment Rights Act 1996, the particulars of Andrew’s employment are set out in Schedule 1 (two copies attached) which provides details about the role and duties of a Saturday Girl. Together, these documents are referred to as your “Assignment Agreement (the “Agreement”).
Andrew will commence part-time employment on Saturday, 21 Jul 2018 (“the commencement date”) as a Saturday Girl at Bergman & Knightley on The Lanes. Subject to a Probationary Period of 2 weeks, and subject to termination as provided in this Agreement, Andrew’s position is temporary and will end on Saturday, 25 August 2018. However, subject to suitable performance reports, Andrew may be offered extensions.
Andrew’s standard working hours will be from 9:15 am (store opening at 09:30) to 6:15 pm (store closing 18:00). However, some flexible working will be expected. Overtime working may be required in the event of late night opening and fashion shows. In addition, Saturday Girls will be expected to provide cover, as required, on some Sundays.
B&KBrighton_180712_JF-J1an & Knightley.docx
Page 2
Bergman & Knightley
Est. 1995
As a Saturday Girl aged 18, Andrew’s standard rate of pay will be £5.90 per hour.
We will provide full training and compliance with all regulations. Compliance with regulations including company Health, Safety and Environment policies and use of Rest Rooms is mandatory for all employees. All Saturday Girls are required to use the Female Rest Rooms: failure to do so is a disciplinary offence. Misbehaviour on company premises may incur restrictions, penalties and fines.
Full uniform will be provided and heels no less than 4 inches in height will be required at all times. Since employees are considered ambassadors for Bergman & Knightley, the uniform must be worn at all times when on duty and during travel to and from Bergman & Knightley’s premises. Uniforms, shoes and any accessories provided remain the property of Bergman & Knightley and must be returned within 7 days of ceasing employment with the company. (The Bergman & Knightley Uniform Policy is attached.)
Please note: Your request for specialist variants on our uniform policy has been agreed and appropriate uniforms will be sent to you for approval and fitting. Care and maintenance of the uniform is the duty of the employee. In this case, given the choice of fabric, regular cleaning and glossing will be required. Matching undergarments will also be provided.
You have indicated that Andrew already has extensive experience of wearing make-up and high heels. In consequence and subject to an appearance check before his commencement date, our heads of department agree that Andrew would be an exceptional addition to our store family and would like to offer him a position within our Cosmetics Department.
The requirements of working in the Cosmetics Department mean that Andrew will need to be available to be made-up by one of our expert Cosmetics Technicians at least ninety minutes before his standard start-time. This time will be unpaid but does mean that Andrew will not need to apply full make-up before travelling to Bergman & Knightley on The Lanes . However, as a B&K ambassador, basic make-up will still be expected: e.g. lip gloss, eyeliner, eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow. Please advise of any allergies since false eyelashes and nails will be required to be worn.
B&KBrighton_180712_JF-J1an & Knightley.docx
Page 3
Bergman & Knightley
Est. 1995
Please note: A mandatory requirement of working in the Cosmetics Department is that nose rings and other facial piercings must not be worn, or at any time when wearing the Bergman & Knightley uniform. Bergman & Knightley (jewellery earrings, necklaces, bangles and rings) will be provided as part of the regulation B&K uniform. Collars and other accessories may also be required to be worn on occasions.
Besides assisting with customer service and sales, Saturday Girls in the Cosmetic Department will be expected to act as models for in-house and on-line demonstrations. We include formal agreement contract along with rights agreements for use of images in both in store and online promotions.
Given Andrew’s experience and his customer facing role in Cosmetics, the Head of Cosmetics at Bergman & Knightley on The Lanes has suggested that Andrew start immediately on 5” heels rather than go through the standard probationary period for junior Associates on 4” heels. I hope this will be satisfactory.
Please note: While leggings are normally issued as part of our standard Uniform set, only skirts and dresses may be worn by Associates in the Cosmetics Department. Andrew will be issued with stockings and suspenders in the chosen fabric. Bare legs can be displayed, particularly on hot days, but must be smooth and fully depilated.
Please review the attached contract in Schedule 1. Andrew needs to sign and return the duplicate copy before his start date on Saturday, 21 July. Andrew should also confirm the following size information: dress, neck, breast/bust, waist, hips, leg length, shoe size,
We look forward to having Andrew joining the Bergman & Knightley team and becoming part of “The Hood” as we refer to our Bergman & Knightley associates.
Yours sincerely,
Madam Staff
Madam Staff
Head of HR
Bergman & Knightley
Attachments:
Schedule 1: Bergman & Knightley Assignment Agreement for Andrew Watson (2 copies: one for signature and return, one for retention)
Bergman & Knightley Standard Terms and Conditions for Temporary Work
Bergman & Knightley Uniform Policy
