Will accepted a flyer from a middle-aged lady wearing, it seemed, nothing except a costume made of rope. And given that the rope was flesh coloured, all that could really be seen was a collection of knots; knots so cleverly located that, in truth, no offence could really be taken (not that anyone at The Grange that evening could be remotely described as ‘easily offended’). The lady was, of course, Polly Evans, proprietor of the village sweet shop, and the flyer referred to her ‘early bird’ offer for a set of advanced Shibari lessons, due towards the end of the summer. Will put the sheet in the inside pocket of his tuxedo, meaning to show it to Andy later, though he suspected he knew what the response would be. “Advanced? O, Will, don’t you think you should learn some of the basics first?”
Madame Stella, wearing a uniform which had been especially popular in Sweden, was doing brisk business taking orders for virtually the full range of HotHouse stock, whilst Jules and Jaz had retired to their basket for a quick nap, and were curled up, 69, Jaz purring louder than ever.
Carmel had settled on her new leather skirt for the evening, but had paired it with a very tight-fitting, completely transparent blouse and a total lack of underwear. Well, it was the least she could do if she didn’t want to stand out as ‘weird’. However, she had certainly put quite a bit of business in Madame Stella’s direction, and she was now just fondly watching as JoJo, resplendent in a midnight blue, one-piece calf-skin booty-shorts outfit and Loubou OTKs, and looking more relaxed than she’d seen him since she’d first discovered his secret, paid attention whilst Kat appeared to be giving out instructions for some kind of set-piece coming up later in the evening.
Mayfield slowed to a halt as he reached The Grange. Now that he was here it suddenly occurred to him that he has no idea how to gatecrash a function, which was what, in effect, he had been intending to do. (Ring the doorbell. ‘O, hello, Mrs Cooper, how are you and Mr Cooper? It’s such a pleasant evening, and I was just enjoying a stroll (down a lane which leads to nowhere), and I thought that I’d call in and see how you are. What are your Friday evening viewing preferences? Question of Sport or Coronation Street?) Aargh, No. It didn’t bear thinking about. Come on, feet! Take me away from here! But his sandals just stared at him blankly and left the responsibility to him.
Maybe if he just strolled down the side of the house, which had no windows in the side wall, only skylights in the roof. Perhaps he might just overhear something, a comment, a snippet of conversation, which would gratify his curiousity, and he could then make a swift getaway.
His slow, high-stepping tiptoe, reminiscent of nobody so much as Dick Dastardly, gradually brought him to the rear corner of the building without him picking up any sounds other than a general murmuration. He was just about to retreat when there was a sound of French windows opening, and someone stepping outside, just a few feet away round the corner.
“Andy, I’m just getting a breath of air. Be a darling and save a little plateful of those delightful salmon bites for me.”
“Jane!” breathed Mayfield. Or rather he meant to breath the word, virtually silently. If fact, Jane heard it clearly, and, turning, said, “Hello? Who’s there?”
Andy did as his dear aunt had requested, and then proceeded about his maidenly duties. His route took him through the quite large room next door, made accessible to the main part of the house by the opening of the door behind the curtain. He didn’t immediately recognise it as the garage extension which he’d spotted the previous Wednesday though, given its almost clinical cleanliness and curtained areas, and when the thought did occur to him, it wasn’t ‘The Pit’ that drew his curiousity, or the location of Lady Magdelena’s ‘tool kit’. It was a humming sound which he eventually realised was located close to three, previously silent, latex ‘bags’, on mattresses on the floor of what one could only describe as a ‘personal amusement’ area. Except that one was now obviously occupied. A vac-bed? Was that the term? Whoever was in there now was naked. Totally naked. Obviously. Extremely. And enjoying the experience immensely, if the writhing was anything to go by.
Mayfield would have been fascinated to learn that Andy had located Budgie.
Meanwhile, Kat, in her favourite skin tight leather pants and HotHouse boots, combined with a scarlet PVC underbust waspie, and JoJo, had rendezvoused in the garage with Chloë, in her HotHouse uniform, and they were preparing for the evening’s ‘set piece’. The star of the show, however, was over in the corner, slowly undressing with a sweet, childlike smile on his wrinkled face, eyes fixed on the selection of clothing which would soon constitute his costume. No leather here. No heels or make up. A little plastic but no latex. Just a Very Large Nappy, elasticated pants, giant pale blue baby grow, blonde wig with ringlets, and all the accoutrements necessary to make an old adult baby very happy.
“Right,” said Chloë. “The sooner you’re changed, the sooner you can get into your playpen and we can wheel you through to play with your friends. OK, Baby Diddums?” Baby Diddums took a slug of scrumpy from his bottle, and blew a bubble of drool.
Kat managed to find Baby Diddums’ favourite rattle, and handed it to the not-so-little chap. He thanked her by banging it over her head several times, screaming with delight each time he did so. Kat, however, just smiled indulgently. When Diddums was ready, Chloë wiped his chin with a tissue while JoJo loosened the catch and let down an end of the playpen, before guiding their charge inside. Chloë then refastened the catch, and Diddums happily plopped himself down and began scraping his rattle across the bars.
Then came the task of manoeuvring the contraption out of the double doors at the back of the garage, out onto the paved path which ran along the back of the house and garage. One of the problems with The Grange was that the builders (Earp, Hickok and Cody? Clanton Construction?) had had an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ attitude, and the path was cracked and uneven. As a result, it was difficult to control Diddums oversized playpen on its way to join the assembled crowd in the neighbouring room. Indeed, merely extricating it from the garage through the double doors was a noisy and frustrating procedure. Ah, well, here goes.
A couple of strides, and Jane found herself face to face with the interloper. Or rather, given her heels, it was almost face to cleavage.
“Mayfield? What are you doing here?”
“Oh, Jane, I know. I’m so sorry. I allowed my curiosity to get the better of me. Of course, I shouldn’t be here. I’m mortified. I’ll go immediately. Please accept my sincerest apology,” he mumbled as he grew redder and redder with each passing second. His embarrassment was such that Jane’s dress, the cleavage, the material, the slit, the flesh of her bare back, totally failed to register with him. He was desperately looking around in every direction for an exit, a way out, one which he could take without either drawing attention to himself or upsetting Jane.
“No, Mayfield. You misunderstand me,” said Jane. “What I meant was, what are you doing out here? Why haven’t you joined us inside? We’re having a lovely time, and a good proportion of your parishioners and friends are here. They’d love to see you. Do come and join us inside, please.”
“Really? O, no, I hardly think so. No, I think everyone should just get on with enjoying their evening and I’ll leave you all to it,” he said. With that, he made to turn away. Jane was about to make a renewed attempt to persuade him to stay when there was a loud commotion from the neighbouring doorway, the garage, and a bizarre procession appeared.
JoJo and Chloë were doing their best to control the Diddumsmobile while Kat preceded them, walking backwards and giving directions by word and signal. “Careful! This paving stone I’ve just trodden on is wobbly,” she announced, gesturing for the other two girls to keep closer to the wall to avoid it. They tried to make the necessary adjustment, but only succeeded in making their turn through the French doors into the lounge that much more difficult. They weren’t helped by Baby Diddums throwing his considerable weight from side to side.
“Mayfield, we’d better move,” said Jane, “the girls seem to be having problems.”
Jane took Mayfield’s elbow and attempted to reverse him into the lounge. But he was utterly fascinated by the spectacle, and reacted too slowly. As the Diddumsmobile lurched around the turn, Kat had to take evasive action. As a result, her right heel came down on Mayfield’s big toe. He howled, and pirouetted on his other foot, lost his balance, ricocheted off Jane’s cleavage, and keeled over, the back of his head smacking against the French door. Mayfield slid to the rug as a warm crimson liquid glow stood out on the door handle.
There was silence for a couple of seconds, broken when Jane flung herself down beside the vicar’s immobile form, sobbing, “Mayfield!”
Cliffhanger!!!!!!!!! To Be Continued
*************
Ok, now for the two little clips.
The first is Opera......and no, though i love lots of music and things, Opera has never gripped me, I have though sat on the laws of Glynebourne (Just up the road from my home town) on a summers night and given it a good go,but no, it was just a lovely evening with friends and the music in the background.
However if I had been attending on this occasion I might have paid more attention.
Thank you Coco XXX
What's that I said last week? That Mayfield would have a rude awakening? I didn't have such a harmful event in mind, though. That knock on the head could provoke a temporary amnesia, but I feel that would be a shame, both for Mayfield's curiosity and for the atmosphere of trust existing in the community, as everyone would then need to hide something from him without seeming to.
ReplyDeleteAnd Andrew, about the second clip? Most film editors would call it fast-paced.
DeleteHi Sylvain, fast paced would do it, right up with a Micheal Bay film at a cut every 2.5 seconds .
Xxx
Will the Reverend Mayfield awaken to think he is in Heaven or Hell? Which one of the Nine Circles has he worked his way into if not a deeply devout man of the cloth. Waking up to see Lady Jane hovering above, his hand brushing her tightly clad leg and his lungs filling with the sweet aroma of her expensive perfume.
ReplyDeleteThis could be a rude awakening, or a different side of his flock.
The last clip was truly amazing. I cannot imagine that in one take, especially with the change of outfits. Such a team so well in synch. Practice must be endless. . . . and each looking more lovely that an other.
Thank you, but still not an opera fan.
Lee dear
ReplyDeleteI hope that next week's finale will satisfy, and provide answers for a few questions you didn't realise you had.
Mistress Beth
Thank you, M'lady
DeleteVery enjoyable and intriguing, looking forward to the finale.
ReplyDelete